The Way She Does
by Vanessa Riverton
Summary: Haruka secretly loves Michiru but leaves to pursue her career... when she returns Michiru is married and has had a child... are they truly destined? HM AU pairing,Rated M for future content-being rewritten for summer 2008!
1. Chapter 1

**Dislaimer - I own NOTHING of Sailor Moon or any of the awesome characters, I only wish I did... I do however own the other characters that will later appear... so there!**

**A/N - This is my first ever fanfic so please review... that will make me be not so lazy and maybe write more! Another A/N at the bottom, enjoy the story**

_**Italics are memories/dreams/flashbacks depending on the context**, _everything is just generic format, okay? Cool.

PROLOGUE – THE STUPIDEST THINGS

I sat on the porch of our friend Usagi's home. Everyone was inside, celebrating their college entrance exams. Everyone except me. I decided to escape a few minutes ago, to do three things I rarely do, unless I'm alone in my room. I lift a bottle of Jack Daniels to my lips and let the raw, burning liquid attack my mouth and throat, it's good though, that's what I wanted, to burn away the memory of tonight, what I had done, what I had wrecked. My perfect friendship… with Michiru. Just thinking of her hurts my heart, I can't help but when sigh when her face runs through my mind. I take another drag on the cigarette I lit up as soon as I came outside. It's cold out here, but I don't care, I can't pretend to be happy inside, to be someone who I'm not, which is pretty ironic considering who I am and what I planned to do. I put the near empty bottle on the steps and use my now free hand to wipe away my tears. I hate crying… not because I think it's weak or anything, I hate crying because it's a reminder of pain, of pain I'd rather ignore, so to cure it I pick up the whiskey bottle again, and take a long gulp. The event that night that brought me to that state I was in right now, I hated this state, that vulnerable state, I felt pathetic, I felt like a child. Like I was nothing. Like I am nothing. I look up at the stars, and can feel the light drizzle, as the heavens chose that moment to open up and cover me in the rain, I don't mind, it feels refreshing, cleansing, clarifying. It makes me feel less vulnerable. Everyone gets caught in the rain at some point. The door behind me is opened, and I stay where I am, finishing my cigarette, not really caring that it was raining on me. Then she spoke, and I heard her voice,

"Haruka? What are you doing out here?" I almost break inside as I hear her voice, then I remember the stupid thing I did earlier.

_Haruka, Michiru and Seiya were walking along the street to Usagi's and Mamoru's home, so they could all open their college results together, these results meant everything to everyone. Except to Haruka, she had no plans of attending college. She did however have her own plans, though only Setsuna knew because she was with Haruka when she got the unexpected news. Haruka was offered by some of her sponsors, mainly Europeans, to become a rookie F2 driver and if successsful onto F1. Her years of hard work paid off, and she told them she would go, it was her dream after all._

_Of course, this happy thought was immediately thrown back in her face, as the couple in front of Haruka decided that was the perfect time to share a kiss. For Haruka, seeing Seiya kissing Michiru is one thing that provokes her gag reflex into working overtime. Haruka looked longingly at Michiru and thought about her, she was Haruka's best friend for a decade, and regardless of Haruka's feelings for her, she would not risk that friendship for anything, and that's why Haruka says nothing when she sees the couple kissing even though her insides ache and churn at the same time. Today, as always, Michiru looked perfect, her aquamarine coloured hair, cutely bounced in its natural wavy state around her shoulders as she walked, and her blue dress complimented every single curve of her body to perfection. Haruka thought Michiru was perfection, but Michiru never really thought twice about it. Haruka thought on, Michiru was an elegant woman, she was beautiful and, her deep, blue eyes pierced and warmed Haruka's heart at the same time. Haruka felt complete every time she saw Michiru's perfect features, her smile, and every single time Michiru smiled at Haruka._

_Then there was Seiya. He had jet black hair pulled into a ponytail, with his dark eyes, he wasn't bad looking, he just wasn't good enough for Michiru, no-one was in Haruka's eyes._

"_Michi, are you okay?" It was then Haruka was snapped out of her daydream, when she saw that Michiru was staring at directly at her (The blonde had opted to stare away as seeing Seiya over Michiru made her feel physically sick), Michru shook her head and smiled at Seiya,_

"_Yeah, sorry, I spaced out… you okay, Haruka? You looked like you were thinking about something…quite deeply might I add." Immediately Haruka decided to flash her oh-so charming smile and wave a hand, as though to wave off her question,_

"_I'm fine… just nervous, you know?" Michiru nodded and Seiya put his arm around Michiru's waist, again Haruka decided to look away, this caught Michiru's attention,_

"_About the results, right? If you get the grades you needed, are you going to go to Tokyo for music or Kyoto for the engineering you were speaking about?" Michiru was always worrying about Haruka, but before the blonde could speak, Seiya spoke,_

"_Hey, we're here, guys." For once Haruka was glad Seiya was there, it avoided Haruka having to tell a lie to Michiru, who would be able to see through it instantly She knew the blonde that well, and Haruka silently breathed a sigh of relief. The trio knocked on the door and entered as Usagi greeted them with her usual over-the-top hug while somehow managing to eat half a cake._

_A few hours into the party, Haruka was seated on the couch, with a glass of water in her hand, as a soon-to-be responsible F1 driver, she decided to start avoiding drink, she usually did anyway but the premise of F1 was more motivation. Setsuna, seeing Haruka on the couch decided to sit next to her and spoke to her, quietly, as the others were lounging about the living room, waiting for the last in their group to arrive, Rei, who was on her way from the shrine._

"_Hey, Ruka… you okay?" She nodded slowly,_

"_Just not sure how to tell everyone. It's their day too, you know?" Setsuna nodded,_

"_I think they'll be happy for you… shame you have to leave next week though, doesn't leave much time for us before you go for a year." Haruka smiled gently. Then she looked around the room, Michiru was in Seiya's lap, everyone was itching to open their results, and Rei was holding them back. Haruka sighed sadly to herself and Setsuna spoke to her, trying to reassure her,_

"_Before you go… at least tell her how you feel. It has been long enough." Haruka laughed, a little too loud as it caught the attention of Michiru, who looked at her and saw the way she was speaking to Setsuna, she looked serious and was shaking her head about something. Haruka spoke in a lowered tone to Setsuna,_

"_The last thing I want to do is tell her… what good would it do? Her and Seiya have been together since high school started… And she seems happy with him, I am not going to say a thing, Sets." Setsuna shrugged,_

"_Well, it wouldn't hurt for her to know, would it, Ruka?" At that moment, Michiru approached the two women and decided to use Haruka as a spare seat, with her sitting in the tall blonde's lap, Michiru's arms draped around Haruka's neck and Michiru's head on tomboy's shoulder,_

"_And what are you two plotting?" Before Setsuna or Haruka could repond, Rei burst into the room, panting, breathless, saying sorry for being so late. Haruka couldn't believe her luck, twice today that people have saved her from admitting something to Michiru, Haruka smiled, but then stopped when she noticed Michiru was staring at her, an eyebrow raised,_

"_What were you two talking about, Ruka?" Haruka gulped and could feel her nervousness, Michiru was now playing with her hair, knowing that Haruka enjoyed this. Haruka opted for a half-lie,_

"_Just talking about life after high school." Michiru giggled and Haruka nearly melted at the sound, the utterly delightful sound, it was heaven to Haruka's ears, and Haruka loved when she was the cause of the laughter, the happiness. It was at that moment, Haruka could feel Michiru being yanked up, and Seiya was holding her hands, glaring at Haruka,_

"_Come, Michi-koi, we're going to open our envelopes now." Haruka kept her face neutral as Seiya searched her for emotion. The group gathered around Usagi's table and at the same time, all of the group; Usagi, Mamoru, Ami, Minako, Makato, Rei, Michiru, Haruka, Seiya, Yaten and Taiki all ripped their envelopes open. Setsuna being older and already in college was only there for the party environment. There was a delightful squeal, clearly everyone had done well. All the girls were chattering excitedly about college and cute boys, Seiya and his brothers were grinning at their results, Seiya somewhat more smugly. Haruka glanced at her results, then folded the envelope back into her pocket, Setsuna smiled, she had stolen a glance at the paper before Haruka put it away,_

"_Well done Haruka, impeccable grades." Haruka nodded and drank from her glass,_

"_Mmm, I guess." Setsuna laughed,_

"_I think that all A's can be considered impeccable grades, Ruka." Setsuna ruffled Haruka's hair and the two of them smiled at each other, Michiru looked once again and frowned as she saw how close the two were being. Seiya hugged Michiru from behind,_

"_Well done, Michi! Performing Arts College is one step away, huh?" Michiru nodded and faked a smile. Suddenly Setsuna stood up,_

"_Haruka has an announcement to make, everyone! Haruka?" The group looked at Haruka who looked just as shocked as they did at Setsuna,_

"_No, I don't, Sets." Setsuna grabbed Haruka and smiled,_

"_Yes, you do, tell them the news, Ruka!" Haruka sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. Seiya exhaled, clearly not interested,_

"_I doubt it's anything of importance." Michiru threw a dark look to Seiya then grinned at Haruka who took one more sip from her glass before setting it down,_

"_Okay… well, I'm not going to college." Seiya laughed,_

"_Haha, I knew it, grades were that bad, huh, Tenoh-san?" Haruka grinned a little more,_

"_No, I got 12 A's, Kou-san… but I was offered a year contract on the European F1 racing circuit and I've decided to accept." There was a loud ruckus as everyone scrambled to congratulate Haruka and give her a hug, everyone that is except Seiya and Michiru. Seiya, because he was an insolent ass who hated Haruka and would rather watch her fail than succeed, and Michiru because she was in shock. Michiru stood and made her way to the bathroom, trying to hide her tears. Haruka saw her run off to while Seiya just sat there glaring at Haruka, not even noticing that Michiru had left his side. Haruka sighed and made her way to the bathroom, she knocked gently, there was no reply but there was sniffling coming from inside,_

"_I'll be out in a minute." Came Michiru's gentle voice as Haruka knocked again,_

"_Michi, it's me, can I come in?" Haruka went to turn the door but stopped as she felt the door was locked,_

"_No, go away, Ruka!" Haruka was shocked at that outburst, never before had Michiru been rude to Haruka. Haruka was hurt,_

"_Please, Michi, can I come in?" The door was unlocked slowly and Haruka entered, Michiru was facing away from her. Haruka went to put her hand on Michiru's shoulder but Michiru turned away, rejecting Haruka's touch,_

"_Michi?" Haruka's voice was filled with concern but also hurt, Michiru turned around, her eyes slightly red from the crying she had done,_

"_Ruka… why are you leaving?" Haruka looked taken back,_

"_It's always been my dream to be an F1 racer, hell, they don't even mind that I'm a girl! Though I gotta keep that secret and stay my charming, sexy, Tenoh-kun self." Haruka smiled arrogantly, bringing a slight smile to Michiru's lips. Haruka stepped forward and cupped Michiru's chin, causing Michiru to look up at her with big, bright, blue eyes, a slight frown adorning her features but Michiru was beautiful as ever to Haruka. Haruka smiled gently too,_

"_A smile! Ah, that's much more you, Michiru." Michiru grinned again and playfully smacked Haruka's arm,_

"_Only because your arrogance makes me laugh." She said teasingly,_

"_My arrogance is all a part of the package that makes me irresistible." Haruka said with a purpose sense of self-confidence that made Michiru smile again. Haruka let go of Michiru's chin,_

"_It's only one year, Michi, I'll be back before you know it." She said with a wink. Michiru looked up at her,_

"_But you're leaving us… me… things will be so different without you, you're my best friend, you can't leave me! Haruka, please don't go -" Michiru was cut off as Haruka's lips made contact with her own. Haruka kept her eyes closed and the kiss was soft, simple, but said everything Haruka ever had to. Haruka broke off the kiss, looking shocked at herself._

"_I-I'm sorry, Michi, I shouldn't have… I – " And with that Haruka was out of the door, making her way to the porch, picking up a bottle of JD and the pack of cigarettes that were on the table by the door._

"Nothing." I reply after a considerable pause. Michiru sighed and closed the door behind her,

"Are you sure? It looks like you're standing in the rain, smoking a cigarette and getting drunk." I shrug,

"I guess I am." I decide to finish the bottle in my hand, one last gulp, it burns my throat so bad, but that's nothing compared to the pain I'm trying to drown out. I felt Michiru's arms wrap around my shoulders, as she does every time she tries to cheer me up, which only made me feel worse, the last thing I needed was her pity. I sighed,

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, Michi." She rested her head against my back,

"Don't apologise, Haruka… and don't lie to me… you know why you did it." I dropped my head in defeat, I forgot – she always knew when I was lying. That's ten years of friendship for you. She stroked my hair after letting go of my shoulders, I was relieved and upset at the same time. I hate how Michiru makes me feel so many contradicting things at one time

"Sorry." I said sorry, but even I wasn't sure what I was sorry for, was I saying sorry for lying or for kissing her? No, I could never be sorry for kissing her. Even in that split second, when our lips made contact, I felt complete. I felt like I needed her, like I could never be truly me without her,

"That's okay… so why did you do it?" I closed my eyes and hung my head. Damn, damn, damn, I waited. Not for dramatic effect, but in the hopes one of the girls would come out and interrupt… third time's a charm, right? Hell, right now, I'd even settle for Seiya to come out and act like a jerk. I'd settle for anything that would prevent me feeling like an idiot, anything to prevent from telling Michiru that since we were twelve, I have been madly in love with her.

"I…I can't say it." I could feel my voice cracking as I spoke. Damn, I really did not want to say a thing. Hell, I didn't want to be there period. I could feel her turning my shoulders gently, forcing me to look at her.

"You can't say or you don't want to say, Ruka?" She brushed some of my hair out of my face and I could feel myself shiver involuntarily at her touch, oh God, I hope she didn't notice. I took a step back, if I was ever going to just get on with my life, I had to put distance between us, emotionally and physically.

"Please, Michi… don't make me say it." I didn't dare to open my eyes, I had pictured her face to be one of disappointment or to be impatient and for her to shake me, tell me to stop being a coward and to grow up. But instead, there was nothing,

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do, Ruka." I opened my eyes, but kept them locked onto the ground before me. I could feel her hand gently touch my cheek, and I had to hold myself back from grabbing her arm and kissing her palm, showering her with my love and affection, but I could only find myself, crying again. Dammit, these fucking tears, dammit, I did not give them permission to leave my body. Michiru's hand stopped, and I looked up at her. She wasn't angry or disappointed, just worried, for me, she cared, I knew that, but she looked really worried,

"Haruka, why are you crying? Are you okay, hun?" I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't handle this. Not the denial, I couldn't bear her pity. I really had to get out of there. I took another step back, and reached into my pocket. Good, my house keys were still there.

"Stop asking me these stupid questions, Michiru!" As these words left my mouth, I saw her… now she looked more worried about me than ever. Every time I was around Michiru, I never lost my composure, I was calm and cool, charming and very flirtatious. But now, I was shouting and angry. In fact, I must have been shouting pretty damned loudly, as Usagi's door was opened and Setsuna was standing there, Seiya behind her. I sighed,

"Fuck." I didn't stay around to hear much more. It's pretty amazing how fast you run when you're drunk, or maybe it's me. I just enjoy running. Mainly running away from things, people… now Michiru. I was halfway to our apartment when I remembered,

"Oh fuck, OUR apartment!" How was I suppose to avoid a girl who lived 12 feet away from me. Maybe I should have just not acted like an ass back there. Instead, I figured to go the whole nine yards, I rose my arms above my head, embracing the soft drizzle of rain and decided to shout, to vent in one quick burst,

"Can you not give me a break, kami-sama?! Dammit!" I breathed in and out heavily,

"Achoo!" Great. A cold. On my list of last things I needed right now, that was somewhere in my top 5. I decided to just run to the apartment, as fast as hell, as the sneezes were now coming in fits. Dammit. This is really turning out to be the worse day, and our… wait, my, that makes it easier… my apartment was still a good ten, maybe fifteen minute run away.

I'm pretty sure the state I am in, I didn't need my keys, my urge to get in, throw my wet clothes off, have a hot shower and disappear into my bed were so overwhelming I could have somehow regained the power of a mother bear protecting her cubs, and thrown my body against the door, throwing it off its hinges and allowing me to go on my rampage for warmth. But I didn't… I did opt to fumble with my keys in my slippery hands for a good half a minute before getting the door open and running in, already throwing my white button down shirt across the hallway and heading to my room, I was about to throw my white tank top off, when I entered my room and nearly fainted. There she was, on my bed, waiting for me, her eyes brimming with tears. She stood as I entered,

"I got a cab back… talk to me, Haruka." That was all she needed to say, I tried to hard to suppress my urge to smile, but when she says my name, I can't help but feel utterly in love with her. Then I remember why I was storming to my room, I began to shiver, and my wet clothes were still stuck to my body like a second skin. Michiru approached me, and she put her hand through my short sandy hair, I turned my head away, not because I didn't enjoy it, but because I could feel it coming.

"Achoo!" As my entire body shook at the ferocity of my sneeze, I could hear Michiru giggling, I looked up to her about to scold her, but I saw it in her eyes. That look that told me she wasn't laughing at me in a mean way, but that she was laughing because she knew… I needed her right now… who else would take care of me? I knew then and there I had a hard year ahead of me. Who was I kidding? I cannot live a day without Michiru Kaioh.

**A/N again - A HUGE thank you to gotToluvAnime for being major inspiration and my beta-reader! Also a lot of love to Reusch17 for being immensely awesome and writing great stories that deluded me into thinking I could write one half as good. You guys rock!**


	2. Through Michiru's Eyes

**Disclaimer : Please see first ever chapter for the disclaimer which goes for this entire story, I do not own Sailor Moon nor any of its characters, but I do own the original characters that appear in this story.**

**I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews, for every ten reviews I get for teh chapter, I will then update - I just like to feel loved... anyway enjoy the story and there is another chapter being update after this!**

* * *

MICHIRU - ONE WEIRD NIGHT

I was worried about her, I always am when she disappears like this. I'm just glad she doesn't have her car here or her bike, because then I would definitely have no chance of finding her. Oh thank God, it looks like it's started to rain, I check the backyard, but she's not out there, sitting under the tree like she usually would when she tries to be left alone. God, why did I react like that? It was no big deal… well, it was a shock, sure, but I'm not an idiot, I know Haruka's had a crush on me for a while, but she's my friend, and she said she was sorry before she ran out… I wish she hadn't because now she thinks she's done something wrong, and she hasn't, she was only being honest with how she felt when she – grr, when she, dammit, when she did what she did. Why can't I even say what she did?... Well, cos it's Ruka… I only hoped that I didn't make her feel stupid for what she did – she always acts like that. Crap, it would be so much easier to look for with some help, but if I ask why I want help, people will want to know why and… well, I can't let them know about this, they'll just blow it way out of proportion! Where the hell is Seiya? I could ask him for help… scratch that, I know Seiya isn't her biggest fan, I'm just going to speak to everyone in every room while looking out for her in the corner of my eye.

"Oh hey babe." Seiya decides to appear now, in the middle of my frantic search… great. All night Seiya has been grabbing me from around the waist and holding me so close to him, I should enjoy it really, he is my… boyfriend, but right now I'm more worried about Ruka. She's not in the house, and it started raining outside, she wouldn't be outside in the rain, she'll get a cold! No, she has to be in here somewhere… Why did she have to kiss me? She's probably all freaked out and thinks I hate her… If I know Haruka, and I do, then she's somewhere moping, somewhere where no-one can find her. Oh God, Seiya, get your hand off of me I am not in the mood!

"You okay, Michi?" I grin and kiss his cheek to reassure him,

"I'm fine, babe, I'm just going to get some air, okay?" I look around the room while I make my way to the front door. I see Setsuna looking around the room with the same pair of concerned eyes I have, I pause just before the door. I know I shouldn't think this way but I do not trust Setsuna. Not since I saw them being very close in Haruka's room a few months back.

_Michiru was in her room, with Seiya, he was sitting behind her, his back leaning against her bed's headboard, and Michiru sitting in between his legs, that are either side of her, she has her knees up, and a notepad resting against her knees and a pen in her hand, scribbling down a lot of notes. Seiya sighs,_

"_This essay is so boring and pointless… I don't see why we have to do it." Michiru looks up at him and grins, he really is like a big baby,_

"_Oh Seiya, you need to relax, we need to write about space exploration and get these projects in this Friday, it's half our grade. Anyway, you're just moaning because you think it's hard!" Seiya cuddled Michiru and kissed her neck,_

"_It is difficult! I'm lucky I got paired with you Michi… I'd be lost without you." Michiru looked up at Seiya, into his deep, dark eyes and she smiled, and kissed him gently on his lips. He smiled broadly and then rested his head back,_

"_Well, I'm lucky with you always, Michi." Michiru grinned further, then the sound of loud rock music could be heard, clearly it was from next door. Michiru frowned,_

"_Oh for Gods sakes, Ruka!" Michiru got up from her bed, but Seiya grabbed her wrist,_

"_Ignore it Michi! It's just music, let's just finish this, then we can have time together..." Seiya blushed deeply at his implications, Michiru smiled gently and kissed the top of his forehead,_

"_I know, but I can't concentrate… I don't see why she didn't opt to join a group… I know with the odd numbers in class it meant there would be one group of three but she can be so stubborn sometimes!" Seiya shrugged,_

"_Everyone knows Tenoh is a proud one." Michiru laughed,_

"_You've no idea, but I am going to get that music turned off." And with that Michiru put her hand on her hip and walked out of her room and made her way down to Haruka's bedroom. As she approached it, she heard no voices, just the very loud rock music, and so Michiru knocked on the door three times. No reply. She knocked harder, no reply again,_

"_Haruka, open this door right now! We're trying to study!" She knocked again, no answer. Michiru frowned deeply and she opened the blond tomboy's door,_

"_Haruka, do you mind – " Michiru was cut off by the sight of Haruka sitting on her bed, with Setsuna facing the blond and the two had their lips connected, both sharing what appeared to be a deep and passionate kiss. Haruka opened her eyes and saw Michiru standing there, she immediately pulled away from Setsuna, who looked confused then looked to the door where she saw Michiru standing. Haruka turned off the music. The two women on the bed were blushing, Michiru was too but she was angry more than anything._

"_What is it, Michi?" Haruka sounded nervous._

"_Turn your music down." Michiru was cold and closed the door behind her before walking back to her room. As she entered her room and slammed the door, Seiya looked at her, a little confused,_

"_What is it, love?" Michiru didn't answer, but then Seiya wrapped his arms around herm and gently held her, Michiru sighed,_

"_That damn Setsuna girl is here, did you know that?" Seiya shook his head, "And I saw her and Haruka… kissing." Michiru said the last part barely in a whisper, Seiya opened his eyes wide, and grinned,_

"_I knew it! Man, Haruka got a college girl? Kudos to her, but I thought for sure she was –" Seiya stopped his ranting as he looked at Michiru, he looked down, and Michiru brought his face to hers and kissed him,_

"_She was what, Seiya?" Seiya blushed but looked at Michiru, he knew he couldn't lie to the girl in front of him, she had a knack for the truth,_

"_I thought she was more…well, into you, Michi."_

I thought for sure that Haruka and Setsuna were a secret couple, hell, all the people in our group thought too for sure. I locked my gaze with Setsuna, who glanced to the door, then back to me. I looked to the door too and she smiled gently. I opened the door slowly and looked out, at first I thought that no-one was there, and as I was about to close the door, I could see someone standing there, a cigarette in their hand and half an empty bottle. Then I recognise the person out there,

"Haruka? What are you doing out here?" My voice could barely be heard what with the rain and wind, in fact, I wasn't even sure if she heard me, but she slowly replied,

"Nothing." I smile gently. Haruka never drinks, not since all that happened with her mother, she never smokes, even now I have to tease her, not because I'm being mean, but I'm letting her know nothing has changed between us,

"Are you sure? It looks like you're standing in the rain, smoking a cigarette and getting drunk." She shrugged at me… I hate when she does that, she's trying to give me the cold shoulder and the only reason she does that is when she's hiding something from me. She finally answers and finishes the bottle in her hand in one last gulp. I hate seeing her like this, it reminds me of the pain she felt when she saw her own mother like this. That was ten years ago, and even then I held her in my arms, even though Haruka is not a hugging person, I always hug her when she is in this mood. I decided that despite what happened tonight, my friend needed me, so I walked over to her, getting wet instantly from the rain and hugged her from behind. She didn't respond at first apart from slightly tensing but I didn't let go, she needs to know I'm always here for her. I need to know I'm there for her too, that I'm a true friend to my Ruka. After a moment, she sighs, and I hear her speak so gently, she's clearly struggling to talk to me,

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me, Michi." I hate when she does this. When she lies to me. I rest my head against her back and I'm torn between letting her get away with it right now, or pulling her up on it and letting her know that I know her better than anyone. I speak gently, only to her,

"Don't apologise, Haruka… and don't lie to me… you know why you did it." I waited patiently for her to argue and tell me she wasn't lying and she doesn't know why she did it… it was usually inevitable, but all she did was stay quiet for a moment. I was about to talk again when she interrupted me,

"Sorry." She still didn't even look me in the eyes, but I could forgive her. She didn't say what she was apologising for, but something in me told me it was for lying to me. I smile gently, glad that we're getting somewhere, but then my smile disappears when I realise that if I don't ask now, we can never get past this obstacle in our relationship, wait no our friendship, relationship sounds too… intimate. Okay, I breathe in and decide that there's no time like the present,

"That's okay… so why did you do it?" She closed her eyes and hung her head. Shimmatta, did I go too far?

"I…I can't say it." I felt shitty, she didn't want to say it and I know it is selfish but I had to know. I had to get it from her,

"You can't say or you don't want to say, Ruka?" I brushed some hair from her eyes in the hopes of soothing her but I could feel her shudder slightly at my touch, I was about to jerk my hand back when I thought that doing that might give Haruka the wrong impression, I was doing this to salvage our relationship, and to make the truth come out.

"Please, Michi… don't make me say it." My heart nearly broke when I heard her, the turmoil that was so clear in her voice. I decided that I couldn't make her say it, she would hate me if I forced her to talk to me. I couldn't have Haruka hating me. We were best friends for christs sake!

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do, Ruka." And then she looked at me with those amazing eyes of hers, and I felt happy again. I was glad to know Ruka was safe here with me, that I made her feel safe, and I knew she was safe when I looked into her eyes…. Or was she? I could see tears streaming from her face. Christ, this was the last thing I wanted, Ruka, please don't cry, I said you don't have to tell me, dammit! Oh, God!

"Haruka, why are you crying? Are you okay, hun?" How else was I supposed to act? I couldn't ignore her tears, her pain, I didn't know why she hurt so much, I mean I had my thoughts, she had a crush on me but maybe there was more, other things she was not telling me. I waited for a reply but instead I was shocked when Haruka stepped back from me, looking so torn it nearly broke me inside.

"Stop asking me these stupid questions, Michiru!" Christ. She must really be hurting. I didn't know what to do, hug Haruka who clearly didn't want me near her? But before I could do anything she was gone. She had started running I was still stood there, worried as hell. I turned around and saw that Setsuna and Seiya were standing there, shimatta, how long were they standing there. Seiya looked confused,

"What's going on, babe? It's cold out here, come on in." He turned back inside to join the group and Setsuna simply stared at me,

"I'll call you a cab." I looked at her confused, why was she helping me, but I didn't need to ask, this girl was scarily tuned, it was almost like she knew what I was going to say before I did.

"She needs to talk to you, Michiru."

It was ten minutes later when I pulled up outside our apartment complex in the cab, I paid for the cab and got out. Seiya wasn't with me. When I told him Haruka and me needed to talk he didn't seem surprised or angry, he usually is and once actually had the indecency to accuse me of Haruka coming first in my life all the time! But today, he seemed fine with it and wanted to stay at Usagi's with the group.

I got into our apartment and I couldn't see or hear Haruka. Oh God, I hoped she was coming back. If she stayed out in this weather all night, she would get a cold or worse. God only knows where she is. I can't stay in the living room, it's so empty, and I realise how cold it is, so I head to the hallway and I stopped outside her room, I don't really know why, all I know is that I had to guarantee she knew was here for her, and if I was sitting in her room, she would have to know that right? I sat on her bed for fifteen minutes, taking in everything in her room. I was so concerned with the kiss tonight, that I completely forgot what led to that. I stared at the poster on her wall of Lewis Hamilton, one of her favourite new racers; She was leaving. Not just the apartment or the city… but the country. She was going to be going around the world, driving. I was happy for her at first, sure of course, but she was leaving us and it would be a whole year till I next saw her… properly anyway. She was only 18, she was going to be surrounded by all kinds of people, she'll have a harder time hiding her gender, there would be women all over her, and – wait did I just get jealous over other women? I shake my head, trying to get rid of that thought. No, that's gross, Haruka is my best friend… I'm just being protective… yeah, that's it, protective. Before I can think anymore, the door is opened and I can hear footsteps and then as I look up, Haruka's door opens, she has her arms around the bottom of her shirt and was about to lift it it over her head when she saw me and stopped dead in her tracks, she was soaked from head to toe, shaking a little but she looked shocked to see me.

"I got a cab back… talk to me, Haruka." It was all I could think of, okay?! Dammit, and I saw her lip twitch a little as though she was about to smile, when she started shaking a little and I remembered that Haruka has just run from Usagi's to here in the pouring rain. I walk towards the freezing cold Haruka and run my hand through her hair, removing the wet strands from her forehead and also calming Haruka, letting her know… here I was, always here for her. She looked away from me, had I upset her with my actions? My words? No… I hadn't,

"Achoo!" Her entire body seized a little as she shook and it was really cute, I couldn't help but laugh a little, Haruka glared at me but then her eyes softened. She sneezed again and my eyes began to drift over Haruka's cold body, her abs clenched when she sneezed and it made me smile. Haruka, despite her masculine appearance and muscles was still such a girl. A very cute girl. Oh God, no. No! I looked over Haruka again, my eyes won't stop, what the hell, and I took everything in about her. Her beautiful eyes, her short, blond hair. Her spectacular body, her handsome face, and her gentle manner, but then Haruka had that flirtatious side to her, it could be very sexy sometimes. No… I did not just think my best friend was sexy. Oh God no… this was going to be a very difficult year.

* * *

**A/N - I threw in Michiru's version of events to give a little more perspective here, I know it's OOC, but it's my story so there! pokes tongue out; this story will be told mainly from Haruka's perspective unless otherwise stated**


	3. The Big Bad News

**Disclaimer - You know the drill!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please R&R**

THE BIG BAD NEWS

I was standing in my room, looking around. It looked so bare with nothing in it. I didn't have much but what I did have in this world, I needed with me at all times. I needed her… but she isn't mine… and I'm pretty sure if she were given the choice, she wouldn't want to go with me. She had Seiya, her boyfriend of three years. They were the school's golden couple; she was the violinist who had a scholarship secured at Tokyo's finest Performing Arts school, and he was the singer that girls swooned over, rumoured to be offered a contract to be a pop idol soon. And then there was me… I was nobody. Well, nobody special. But I was going to Europe, to be in F1, I might make it, with luck and all my hard work, the least I could do is try. I'm sick and tired of being thought of as the one who will never be spectacular in life.

I used to play piano, me and Michiru used to play our songs together, some composed by us, and I lost my desire to play after I saw Michiru playing a song we had written together, just for us, with him, Seiya. He was good at piano, I can honestly say not as good as me, but I'm never touching that instrument ever again, that day I felt like I had been violated. Like I didn't matter, not really anyway. It was our special thing we did together, we composed that song, a special song, just for us, I guess it's my fault, I didn't tell her that every note I touched was a secret message for her, telling her how deeply I loved her, how much she completed me, how she saved me from thinking I could never love again.

Now, it doesn't matter to me. I had listened to Setsuna, well partially, I let my mouth do the talking in the form of a kiss but I don't think what could be seen as an innocent kiss could truly convey my feelings of unconditional and pure love for her. She seemed to not really have been fazed by it. In fact, she spent three days helping me recover so I would be ready for my trip to Europe. Even though she looked after me, I still get the feeling she's sad, probably angry at me. But I have to admit; God, I loved how she looked after me. I felt bad at first because she told Seiya she couldn't meet him for a dinner because I was ill but then I felt great because Michiru and me just had an amazing time together, well I had an amazing time, I'm not so sure about her.

"_Achoo! Dammit!" Michiru threw a tissue at Haruka and laughed teasingly at her,_

"_Please, Ruka, refrain from swearing!" Haruka rolled her eyes and took the tissue, blowing her nose with it, after a few seconds she wiped her nose and then frowned,_

"_No matter how many damn tissues I use, my nose doesn't seem to clear! I hate being ill!" Haruka nearly jumped out of her skin as she felt a hand go through her hair, unmistakeably soft skin; then a smile found its way upon the blonde's face. Michiru stole a look at Haruka and grinned affectionately,_

"_You like that, Ruka?" Haruka threw her eyes open and blushed slightly before responding to her, her annoyance showing clearly in her voice,_

"_I'm ill, Michiru! Anything that isn't a sneeze is a pleasure right now!" Michiru raised an eyebrow and decided to stroke Haruka's scalp, slower, causing Haruka to bite her lip,_

"_Oh, this is pleasure, huh, Haruka?" Haruka could feel Michiru's breath on her ear as Michiru leant close to speak into her ear. Haruka gulped slightly, and opened her mouth to respond,_

"_Achoo! Oh God damn it!" Haruka took another tissue and blew her nose, clearly agitated, Michiru laughed,_

"_I'll get you some soup, Sneezy." Haruka frowned as Michiru turned to face her, stopping at the doorway,_

"_You know, Michi, I never made fun of you when you were ill." Haruka sounded a little hurt, but Michiru smiled gently,_

"_Don't worry Haruka, I won't make fun of you anymore… God forbid your reputation was destroyed." Haruka could only roll her eyes._

_A few minutes later, Michiru came back into the room, carrying a tray of hot chicken soup, with a bread roll and some hot green tea. Haruka sat up in the bed and smiled at Michiru as she placed the tray over the blonde's legs and sat beside her. Haruka picked up her bread and broke it in half, she grinned at Michiru,_

"_Thank you, Michiru." Michiru was about to respond when her cellphone began ringing, she took it out of her pocket, then sighed as she saw the name, but she eventually opened her clamshell phone and answered,_

"_Moshi moshi?... Hi, Seiya," Haruka noticed how Michiru rolled her eyes, "I'm fine… I already told you yesterday I can't… Because Haruka is ill… No! I can't just leave her at home alone. No... I said no! Goodbye, Seiya!" Michiru closed her phone and put it on the bedside table in Haruka's room, looking a little pissed off. Haruka put her bread down,_

"_You know, it's been two days, I'm feeling much better… I can look after myself Michi." Michiru shook her head as Haruka finished speaking,_

"_What kind of friend would I be, Ruka, if I left you here, went out, came back and you had gotten worse, huh?" Haruka nodded then spoke,_

"_That's true, at least with you looking after me, I know that I'll be well enough to go to Europe on Saturday!" As Haruka turned to Michiru she saw that Michiru was still unhappy about the news. Haruka decided to just shut up, and to eat the soup in silence, and to stop upsetting the love of her life._

_It was night-time, and Haruka was still in her room, sat up in bed and watching an F1 race from last season. Haruka wasn't really paying attention though, because as soon as she had finished her soup earlier, Michiru took the tray out and didn't come back in the room. That was four hours ago. But Haruka knew she was in her room at one point as in between silences from the TV, Haruka could hear her aqua haired love sniffling. But now, Haruka felt bad, she couldn't hear anything,_

"_Maybe she decided to go and see Seiya." Haruka often muttered to herself when she was sure she was alone. At that moment, the door opened, and Michiru stood there, in her pajamas, looking tired and sad. Haruka looked up at her but before she could say anything, Michiru sighed then spoke,_

"_No, I didn't go and see Seiya… I told you before, someone has to look after you." Haruka smiled gently at Michiru,_

"_And I told you, you can go, I can look after myself." Michiru laughed gently as she approached Haruka's bed and decided to get in beside her,_

"_Yeah right, you still ask me for help with your ties, Ruka." The blonde smiled,_

"_Okay, you got me, without you I am nothing, oh great Kaioh-sama!" Michiru smacked her playfully on the arm, then she rested her head on Haruka's shoulder, causing Haruka to smile softly and put her arm around Michiru protectively._

"_Haruka... please be careful in Europe."_

I look around my room for the last time, it's my last day in Japan and since I had recovered I had not seen Michiru. I don't think, well I hope, she hasn't been avoiding me, but I've been pretty busy myself, but I noticed in the past 3 days how much I missed her, how the hell was I going to survive a year?

Today was inevitable though, I was going to see Michiru's parents, who practically brought me up, and they demanded to see me and cook me a meal before I left for a year. The Kaioh's were such great people, Megumi was like a true mother to me, in fact, Megumi is the first person I think of on Mother's Day, not my real mother. And then there was Hiroshi, the man was a genius and he was the one who kept me playing the piano, even after I wanted to stop because of the pain I felt when I remembered the man who taught me. The Kaioh's brought me up after my father died in a shooting at a convenience store in Tokyo, and after his death my mother descended into alcoholism. Michiru's mother and my father were best friends for years, and she took me in when I was eight. She loved me, embraced me for who I was and encouraged me to be honest with everyone. I consider Megumi Kaioh to be my true family. I love her so much, but I've never been able to tell her how much I love Michiru, how long I have loved her. And now, I was going to have to sit through a family dinner… with Megumi, Hiroshi, Michiru… and Seiya. Oh, joy of joys, clearly today is my lucky day. At least there could be one good thing about today, a nice two hour drive to Michiru's parents home. Their home always amazes me, it has a perfect view of the forest on one side the coast on the other, when we were younger, me and Michiru used to sneak down to the beach all the time, watch the stars and fall asleep in each other's arms. Damn, a nice long drive, that's what I needed, pronto.

After I took my shower, I decided I needed to dress my confidently, if Seiya was there, I needed him to know I was better than him… even if no-one else believed it, I had to prove my worth. I decided to throw on my black dress pants and I found this white button down shirt that had a nice golden lace design over the front, that was in the design of a woman. It sounds worse than it looks but on me, it looked good. Now, I hate to admit it, Setsuna had some damn fine taste when it came to shirts, she was the one who convinced me to wear this, and I loved how it looked on me, fitted but not tight. I put on my shoes and grabbed the keys to my Toyota convertible. My baby. That car, I spent years acquiring it and even longer modding it; the horsepower is mindblowing, the control makes me think it's a car for the gods and it looks damn good. It's a classic Japanese sports car, people would kill for it, and it's mine. And I love driving in it. It clears my mind, to just sit in my car and drive aimlessly around the capital, taking everything in, finding every street, knowing every route. I can happily say I have never needed a map or a satnav, and I plan to never own one.

It was about an hour and a half before I realised I had pulled up outside the gates to the Kaioh's mansion. I pressed the buzzer and didn't even have to speak to anyone, they clearly knew whose car this was, so they knew I was here. The gates opened and I drove carefully down the long drive to the home. It was just off-white in an old style French design but mixed with certain aspects of a typical Japanese home. I suppose when you're as well travelled as the Kaioh's, you desire certain things that make your ideal home. I pull up beside a car I fully recognise, a BMW 500 series. Silver, basic, bland; it's Seiya to a tee. The fact that Michiru willingly gets in that car makes me ponder about her sanity, but hey, it's her life, I suppose. As I get out the car, I hear a loud squeal coming from the front of the house, I look up and see a woman in her mid 40s, with graying aquamarine hair, dressed in a kimono and her hair is pulled back, out of her face, it's clear she has been cooking though as the only reason that Megumi Kaioh ties her beloved hair back is when she's cooking,

"Haruka! Oh kami! Finally you're here! Oh I am so glad to see you! You took your time though, slowpoke!" Megumi always does this thing where she sees me, says a nice thing then criticises me before enveloping me in her arms and hugging me with all her strength. Man, this woman is amazing, I couldn't have hoped for a better 'mother' really. I smile as I hug her back, then she holds me at arms' length,

"Well! Oh my, aren't we handsome… if I had known I would have dressed in jeans too!" I smile that famous grin again and say,

"Well, Megumi-sama, someone has to outdo you one day in the fashion department." As Megumi lets go of me, I step back and look to the door where Michiru is standing, in a dress, a blue Chinese-style dress I bought on a school trip after she dropped me hints the size of Kyoto. She had her hair up, with strands framing her face. Breathtakingly beautiful, I even half-gasped when I saw her, but then regained my composure when Seiya appeared in the doorway, glaring at me but retaining a fake smile. I ignore him and decide to chat to Megumi on the way into the house, I successfully ignore Michiru as Seiya wraps his arms around her waist. He is dressed in a grey suit and shirt with a silver tie – yeuch, I definitely looked better. I then run my hand through my hair, not for any other reason than it seemed that Seiya was clearly having a fight with his own hair this morning and mine fell into its naturally tousled state, the one that everyone loved, and I had to show off… after all I am Haruka Tenoh.

At the dinner table, we ate my favourite dish in silence salad but Megumi also made steamed rice and miso soup for everyone, but the salad with all the rare and delicious ingredients? Megumi made just for me, I sat back and smiled broadly,

"Mmm, Megumi, this is delicious! Itadakimasu! Arigotou!" I have to give this woman thanks, this was heaven in my mouth. I stopped halfway through to drink some of the special coffee that Hiroshi liked to keep for special occasions. Hiroshi smiled at me,

"So where will you be based, Ruka?" I looked over to him and sat back a little,

"I'm training in Madrid a lot, but also at Silverstone, they want me to be able to drive in all extremes… but my first race will be in Monaco in the rookie divison." He looked impressed,

"Monaco, we had some good times there, fantastic place, Ruka, you should enjoy it." Megumi pouted a little, like a 5 year old,

"Don't you get any time off, Ruka? It seems so unfair to just up and leave for a year!" I laughed gently, but she seemed really upset,

"Well, I get some time off… but I found out that the Japanese Grand Prix is towards the end of the year for the rookie division, so with any luck I can spend a lot of time here before the off-season, Megumi." She grinned at this,

"Oh, and how long till the off-season?" My head dropped a little,

"It's in 9 months time… hehehe." My nervous laugh, Megumi nodded but Hiroshi smiled,

"Well, 9 months or not, it's something you've worked hard for Haruka, and we wish you luck!" He raised his glass and toasted me, we all drank from our glasses. Seiya cleared his throat,

"So, do they know you're a girl then, Tenoh-sama?" I shook my head,

"No… but just like here, we have ways of covering for that." Seiya laughed loudly,

"Well, good luck till they kick you out then." Megumi glared at him and frowned,

"Kou-san, I think that is quite enough." Seiya looked at Michiru who was frowning too and I laughed in my mind at my little victory. Pathetic I know, but it's all I have. Megumi began to speak as she finished her meal and reached for her green tea,

"Well, Haruka, you know that it will be hard to travel around without your friends and family… will you be okay?" I sighed deeply, I had thought about this, and it really got me down, but it needed to be done,

"I'll have to manage… Nobu, my mechanic is coming on-board, I needed someone I trusted, so he's there for me… apart from that, I guess it's just a matter of adjust and adapt." There was a silence from Megumi and Hiroshi who just seemed impressed at my maturity. I took another sip from my heavenly coffee when Michiru decided to speak,

"Well, we will all miss you, Ruka," I looked at her and she had her head down, barely speaking above a whisper, "Even if you won't miss us…" Michiru stood up and she shook for a moment, "We want you to succeed, Ruka… Good luck." I was about to grab her, hold her and tell her that I would miss her more than she could ever imagine. But before I could say a thing, she ran from the dining hall. Seiya stood up and was about to follow her when Hiroshi spoke up, his voice filled with authority,

"Sit down, Kou-san," Seiya was about to disobey him but the look that Hiroshi shot him almost forced him to sit back down, "Haruka… can you go and check on Michi-chan please?" I looked up at him and Megumi gave me a nod in the direction of her room. I stood up, bowed to them and made my way to her room.

Once I reached her door, I raised my hand to knock, as I always did, even when she invited me to her room, but I stopped, I needed to take a deep breath, I knew that whatever was about to happen, needed me to be prepared. That was when I remembered the last time we were in this position. At our apartment, nearly eight months ago.

"_Michi?" Haruka entered the room after hearing no answer after she had knocked on the door. The blonde was still in her male Mugen uniform, and as she closed the door behind her, she turned to see Michiru was still in her female version of the uniform,_

"_Go away, Ruka." Michiru wasn't crying but was absolutely void of emotion, and that scared the tomboy more,_

"_Gomen, but I heard from Ami that you skipped chemistry… that's not like you… I was worried." Haruka had made her way to the bed, beside the beautiful girl, stroking Michiru's hair gently and smiling contentedly to herself. Michiru dragged her face away from her pillow and spoke calmly,_

"_I'm fine, Haruka… I was just under pressure today." Michiru didn't need to say anymore, Haruka had heard the rumour at lunchtime when being hounded by her female admirers; Michiru's boyfriend, Seiya, had asked her to spend Christmas with him at a love motel after over 2 years of being a couple. Haruka could feel her jaw clench involuntarily._

"_If you don't want to go, then don't, Michi." Haruka was shocked at her own bluntness, but no more than Michiru, who rolled over and stared at the blonde,_

"_Why should I not want to go?" Haruka looked deeply into her eyes, so close to telling her those three painful yet meaningful words,_

"_Because I-I… I don't want you to." Haruka was sincere but Michiru sat up, tense, expecting more, and she let the blonde know,_

"_And why don't you want me to go, Ruka?" Haruka noticed her grip on the younger girl's arm, it was a little too familiar… too firm, but Haruka kept a hold on her,_

"_Because I… I just don't want you to. Jesus, isn't that enough?" Haruka let go of Michiru, and the aqua haired girl shook her head,_

"_No, it's not enough, Haruka."_

I knocked on the door and there was no answer, I couldn't hear a sniffle,

"Come in." Her voice eventually broke through me a few moments later when she spoke. I gently opened the door and closed it behind me. As I did, I noticed that Michiru went from crying into her old pillow to sitting up, trying to look poised and calm. I stood with my back to the door,

"Are you okay, Michi?" I tried my best to sound reassuring instead of pathetic but I failed, and she nodded,

"Yeah, I'm fine… I guess it's just hard knowing I won't see you for a year… I always counted on you being here for me." I was floored, how in God's name was I supposed to reply?! But I tried my best, I gulped and made my way to her bed, sitting on the edge, away from her,

"It will go by quicker than you imagined… anyway, I might come home before then… if I hate it." I flashed her 'the' smile, she grinned but then turned her head away,

"It's just… in another country… with all those people, you might forget us." When she said us, I knew she really meant her. That's when I moved closer to her on the bed and smiled, not my usual charming one, but the smile I saved only for my Michi, my smile that showed her how much I appreciated her in every way,

"I could never forget you." I thought that that sentence would clarify everything, the words, the way I said it, it was all clear, and as I edged closer to Michiru, my lips slightly parted and she closed her eyes, sighed, but then spoke,

"Seiya proposed to me… yesterday… I said yes." I stopped, an inch away from her mouth, completely in horror and shock.

"What?" It wasn't that I hadn't heard her the first time, I just needed to know it wasn't my subconscious playing a horrible trick on me. I moved back considerably, and Michiru turned near pale,

"He proposed… we're going to get married, Haruka… I wanted you to be the first to know, I –" I cut her off; forget my manners, I was pissed,

"What the hell kind of thing is that to tell me?" Michiru looked at me, and in that instant I knew, she didn't look shocked or confused, she knew exactly what I meant and why. I nearly died inside, knowing she understood. The truth was out. She knew I truly loved her. God. I couldn't be near her anymore, I reached for the door, only to have her fling herself at me, her arms around my shoulders, just like at the party,

"Ruka, please stay, I need to know –" I threw Michiru off of my shoulders and opened the door,

"I am not a plaything, and my emotions are not to be tested… I am not here for your amusement, Michiru Kaioh!" She sat on the floor shocked as I closed the door angrily behind myself, and headed directly for my car, I couldn't be near her… or Seiya at the moment, I felt sick. Today was going to be great, I couldn't wait to be far from them all. Megumi tried to speak to me as she heard me stomp down the stairs, and head straight for the front, Michiru also neared me but I managed to reach the front door before any of them and decided to drive straight to Setsuna's and ignore the fact that tomorrow I could see all of them tomorrow at the airport for my going away drop-off. I hated days like these, when Michiru's clear love for another would antagonise and annoy my own love for her… why couldn't I love someone so blatantly in love with me? God damn it. I truly hated this. I hated being in love with someone so close yet so far.

* * *

**A/N - Okay, my laptop died on me last night but thankfully I had most of this story saved on a USB drive :D But if the updates are slow, no worries, it's me not having a laptop and thus much internet access in the place where I live!**


	4. An Overdue Return

**Disclaimer - you know the routine. I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the characters. I do own Carlos, Nobu, Mitsuko, Noriko and all the other people you've never heard of before!**

**Sorry this is a boring chapter, but I'll try to make the next one better!**

CHAPTER 3 – AN OVERDUE RETURN

"Tenoh, are you excited to be finishing your spectacular year back here in your home country?" The Italian reporter nearly caught me off-guard, not with his question but his ghastly attempt at Japanese, it would have been less painful if he had asked me in English. I merely smiled,

"Always… to bring pride to Japan has always been my dream." Another reporter darted his question in at lightning speed,

"Are the rumours about you and Mitsuko Kaya true? Are wedding bells soon to hear? It has been nearly five years and many people are wondering when you will pop the big question!" I grinned again but decided to answer this question a little more mysteriously,

"You never know… if she'll ever have me."

The interview was over an hour later after more serious questions about my career, my ability as a racer and my thoughts on the cars. But as soon as I finished and got to my hotel room, there were two women waiting for me as usual… not in that way, before you think that I became more promiscuous than my usual flirting, these two women are always there waiting anxiously. The first being Mistuko Kaya, the model on every designer's list of must-have women, a gorgeous dark-haired gem, with excellent and bright hazel eyes, fine skin and an amazing body… and next to her Noriko Fujiwara, the re-known photographer; with short cropped black hair, brown eyes and a more hostile air about her, she was infamous for her temper as well as her woman-loving. The reason these two are in my room is because we all have an understanding, one that saves all three careers and saves one loving relationship, one that my excellent agent Mimura helped set me up with near the end of my rookie F2 year. With Mitsuko as my 'girlfriend' I continue parading as a man, and coming across as the F1 champion my sponsors want, if myself and Mitsuko act as though the perfect celebrity couple. She drapes on my arm, dotes on me, a few well placed pictures later, no-one suspects her of her lesbian tendencies… no-one that is except Noriko… her lover. I enter the room exhausted, and the two look at me, I collapse on the bed,

"They think we're getting married." We all laugh, and then Mistuko falls onto the bed beside me,

"Oh my Tenoh-kun, we should have a spring wedding! And Noriko can take the pictures!" Mitsuko, always the joker, but Noriko frowned at her, clearly disapproving of the thought of Mitsuko and I together,

"Don't worry, Noriko… just a few well placed romantic evenings in Tokyo with Mitsuko and that's all that is required of me!" Noriko frowned at me,

"It's not you I worry about… it's everyone else…the longer we all lie, the harder it is to live happier." I stood nodding in agreement,

"True, true… how about I let you to live tonight in happiness and I go for a walk in my home town?" The two women grinned at me, and Mitsuko flung herself at me, in utter happiness,

"Oh Haruka, you are the best boyfriend! Not many others would let me have a night of exhausting passion with my Nori-koi!" Noriko blushed but then spoke quietly,

"Thanks Haruka." I grinned happily, as I made my way to the door,

"It's no problem, anything I can do to make my two favourite girls happy makes me happy." With that I closed the door as the two women began to throw themselves at each other and ripping clothes off of each other as though clothing become unfashionable. As I made my way down to the reception, smiling, I decided a night-time walk would do me good. As I walked past the receptionist, smiling and winking, causing her to almost die on the spot, I stopped short of the door, then walked out, taking in the air of the night; cold and calm, the way I liked it. As soon as I had stepped outside, a fan was there, waving a picture of me frantically and holding a pen as though her life depended on it. I smiled, took the pen and signed the picture with it, much to the girls delight. As I was about to walk away in peace, I heard the girl shout,

"Please marry me Tenoh-kun, Kaya-sama could not love you as I do!" I grinned as I thought about how true those words were.

"_Haruka Tenoh, this is Mitsuko Kaya, she's with the same agency as you in Japan." Haruka instinctively bowed and caused the other girl blush. She kissed the back of Mitsuko's hand gently and she grinned at her,_

"_Pleasure to meet you, Kaya-san."_

_After a few hours of shameless flirting, Haruka found herself on the balcony with Mitsuko, alone and more comfortable. Mitsuko looked over to the blonde,_

"_Congratulation on your victory in the Mexican Grand Prix, Tenoh-sama." Haruka waved her hand,_

"_Please, call me Haruka… and thank you… perhaps I should congratulate you on your deal with Garnier as their face for Garnier Asia for the next year?" The model blushed, clearly flattered that Haruka knew who she was,_

"_Arigatou." Haruka grinned, but she saw Mitsuko's eyes flicker for a moment to Noriko, standing in the entrance of the balcony talking to many men and women. It was the same look that Haruka had given Michiru when she wasn't looking on many occasions, Haruka grinned, then sighed,_

"_Shame, you're so pretty… I thought I might stand a chance." As Mitsuko looked at Haruka confused, Haruka directed her gaze to Noriko which caused the model to blush,_

"_Gomen, Haruka, please do not tell anyone, my career would be over if they knew I was - ...or in a relationship with a – " Haruka smiled once again,_

"_Mitsuko, do not worry, I won't tell a soul. In fact… I'm glad I figured this out… Mimura wanted me to charm you… and to make you my girl… now I know that's not possible… could I suggest something?"_

It was almost perfect at the time. The up and coming model and the up and coming racer were an item, barely a tabloid was devoid of our picture. I was in almost every paper and Mitsuko was an idol for young girls. They were everywhere. But to me all that relationship did was help us; Mitsuko could escape the lesbian rumours and have her career without fear of discrimination, I could be the racer and have a beautiful girlfriend, avoid advances of women who could reveal my secret to rivals and colleagues on the F1 circuit. But, if I can be honest to myself, seeing a deserving couple together made me happy… made me think of what I should have had… The same thing I thought of every day since I left Tokyo. Damn that Michiru… at least I was only here for two weeks, then back off to Madrid for rest with Mitsuko and Noriko. Two weeks, crap, it's a lot longer than I ever thought it would ever be.

The only reason I am here in Japan after all this time is because… well, it's a long story. I did my F2 rookie year, and won it without any effort really, it was rather shocking, and after I finished the year, I decided I was going to spend my time off in Tokyo, with my friends and family. But my sponsor had other ideas,

"_Haruka! Can I have a word with you?" The blond smiled at her sponsor widely and appeased him, following him into the office by the garage,_

"_Of course, sir, what is it?" The sponsor sat down, gesturing for Haruka to sit down opposite him, Haruka obliged, now nervous, she ran her hand through her hair. The sponsor looked at her seriously,_

"_I know that you said you wanted to spend the off-season at home, Haruka… but, we have had interest," Before Haruka could question, the sponsor continued, "From other high profile companies, who wish to have you advertise them, Haruka. But not in F2. in F1. If you say yes, we can start you immediately for training in F1!" The sponsor threw his serious façade off and jumped in the air. Haruka smiled and jumped too, but then stopped,_

"_But the F1, the training starts immediately, and the tours are longer… I planned to –"The sponsor cut her off almost immediately,_

"_Haruka, you only get one opportunity in your life like this, you're a great F2 racer, but not many people know of you… Become F1 and you will become Japan's pride and joy." Haruka glanced downwards, she thought of Michiru, and everyone else who would become something great back home. She raised her head and smiled,_

"_Bring on the circuit, Carlos."_

And after I left the F2 circuit to train for F1, I heard that Michiru had married Seiya, and to be honest after that I had no interest in hearing about her or anyone else for that matter. I'll be honest, I was being really immature, but I had to get on with my life, there was no way I could ever face Michiru again, not while she was with him. They were idols in Japan, I bought her debut solo album, that was it, on the track she had one track that I vividly remember. The song we composed together. Seiya played the piano on the track, and once again, I couldn't bear to go back. Now, it was 5 years since I had visited Tokyo… I couldn't bring myself to do the Japanese Grand Prix… not after knowing it would be inevitable to see Michiru and Seiya at all the after parties – Everyone wanted the Kou's to perform at any high profile event. I managed to feign injury or illness at just the right time of year to avoid the race, but this year, I haven't been having the most successful of years. I only finished on the podium 7 times, and to secure my championship for the fifth year running, I HAD to race the Japanese Grand Prix. I had to come to Tokyo and I had to face everything I had run away from.

Before I knew it I was standing at the beach myself and my high school friends used to come to all the time. It was 9pm by my watch and I found myself drawn to the sand, sitting down there as though I never left. Barely a minute after I sat down, I could feel someone standing behind me, so I turned around and saw her… no, not her… but Setsuna, no, not just her, them – Megumi and Hiroshi – all three looking pissed off as hell,

"Not even a damn phone call. Not a letter. Not a word. Nothing. Haruka Tenoh, you are unbelievable." I decide there's no time like the present to use my charm,

"Megumi! You are looking amazing- " She cut me off, raising her hand,

"Don't Tenoh! I have been here every day since I heard you were coming… I knew you couldn't resist this place, but you have some serious explaining to do."

I laughed gently as I took in Megumi's stance. Her arms were folded and she was frowning,

"You really shouldn't frown Megumi-sama, it makes your beautiful face look so sad!" I stood and embraced Megumi in a hug, she smiled as I held her. But then she took a step back, and Setsuna stepped forward, her arms raised as if she was going to embrace me too… but instead she hit me on the shoulder… really fucking hard,

"Ow, what the hell was that for?" I rubbed my shoulder, sure of the bruise that would form there tomorrow,

"Oh I don't know… how about you swore to me you would phone us, write us letters, email… and you did nothing! I should beat the crap out of you Haruka." I grinned widely,

"Oh, but Sets, if I kept in contact with you, you'd get sick of me, I hate to make sure you'd all miss me!" She shook her head then laughed,

"How could you doubt that we wouldn't miss you?" I shrugged my shoulders then looked back over to Megumi,

"Well, are we going to sit here all night, or do you wanna go get a coffee?" Setsuna took my arm and we headed off in the direction of a coffee place we always used to go to. We sat in a booth by the window,

"Mmm, I love this coffee place, it's been ages since I've been here." I took in the aroma of the coffee in front of me, black, no sugar, well yet, Hiroshi chuckled,

"Yeah, it's been almost 5 years, right?" I nodded my head slowly,

"Yeah, five long years, Hiroshi-san… so… how is everyone doing?" I looked up at Sets who seemed a little shocked at the question but she took in a deep breath,

"Well… Usagi and Mamoru are still happy as ever… she's grown up a little bit since you left… Ami's a doctor, doing great… Mako-chan has opened up a restaurant in Tokyo called Senshi… it's quite popular, Rei is a priestess now at the shrine now, Minako is… well Minako, her, Yaten and Taiki are working on a CD at the moment… after Michiru and Seiya's CD was so huge here, they did a collaboration with Minako and the guys and they have their own CD after the popularity." I took it all in with a smirk on my face,

"Everyone's doing great, it would seem." I looked down at my coffee and stirred it absent-mindedly, they all got on with life without me. Megumi cleared her throat then kept her eyes on me, I was a little worried,

"What is it, okaa-san? You're freaking me out." Megumi kept her gaze locked,

"Michiru and Seiya had a child together… after they got married." What the fuck? I was floored. I dropped my spoon into my mug and looked up at her,

"A child? That-… that's great." I sighed, I couldn't have been more insincere if I had tried. They eventually got married and she had a baby, you would think I knew that but I didn't read anything about Michiru after I bought her CD, and in Europe most Asian newspapers are not sold so commonly to be honest with you... I had to close this out of my mind.

"She had the baby 4 years ago… she was two months pregnant when you left Haruka… she really wanted you there at the wedding and for the baby… she even waited for you to come home before the christening. But you never returned, of course."

"Why the hell did she wait for me?" Setsuna grinned a little,

"She wanted you to be the godparent of little Hotaru, Haruka." I laughed a little bitterly,

"Ha… great, I can be the godparent of a kid I've never met and will never have time for." Setsuna laughed at me, I didn't like this laughing at me business, it was becoming a regular occurrence,

"Well, Haruka, it's good to have you back… I've missed you, baka." I didn't respond immediately to Hiroshi and that's when they knew,

"You're not staying are you?"

"_Haruka, that was amazing! If you win the Tokyo Grand Prix, kid, we will be made!" Haruka just grinned and looked over at Nobu, her most trusted companion aside from Mitsuko. He enveloped her in a hug as she got out from her car, long after crossing the finishing line. Before the two could speak anymore, the sponsor, Mr Gagnos, came over, with a huge grin on his face and shook Haruka's hand firmly,_

"_Tenoh… what a fantastic race… as usual! I've got everyone wondering what you'll do after this year, you know." His suggestive tone caused Haruka to look confused,_

"_I don't know." He laughed and looked at her,_

"_Haruka… we're offering you one last contract, one more year… You will be the highest paid driver ever if you say yes. Haruka, you could do one more year and never have to work for five lifetimes." Haruka looked over at Nobu who was already jumping for joy… she could say yes and get millions and race and be alone again for a year… or say no, go home and be with everyone she loves, take her winnings and live comfortably. Haruka knew that the next training season was in a month's time, and that would mean go back to Madrid, and repeat this painfully lonely year. But if she went back to Japan, what would be waiting there for her? She thought she had nothing there and she knew she had nothing here. It's lonely either way but at least one way she could keep driving, making money and having success. _

"_I would be honoured to drive for you again, Mr Gagnos."_

I looked at Setsuna and saw that I didn't need to say anything, Megumi spoke up,

"But we've all been looking forward to having you back home, Ruka, everyone knows your contract ends this season!" I didn't dare move, afraid of what might happen if I responded,

"Why? Why aren't you staying?" I looked directly into her eyes,

"Because there is nothing here for me, Megumi." She looked hurt as I spoke but I sighed,

"I didn't meant like that… I know I have you, hiroshi and Sets… but I can't be here… it hurts too much. I'd rather not stay here." She wiped her eyes, she nearly cried but held them back,

"Fine… how long are you here for then?" I let go of my coffee cup, sit back and look out of the window,

"Four weeks." Hiroshi chuckled at this, quite bitterly, to be honest, I had never thought of how my 'parents' would take this all. My absence, my lack of contact, but here they welcomed me back with love and I was ready to leave again. I was really a jerk. Hiroshi shook his head, almost in disbelief,

"Why the hell did you even bother to come back, then Ruka?" I smiled,

"I have a race." He shook his head once more then laughed, this time amused. Suddenly, Setsuna's cell-phone rang, and she looked at the caller ID. She sighed and looked at me,

"Usagi," she stated before she opened up the phone and spoke to her, never letting her eyes leave me, "Hi, Usagi… yeah, I found her… Hmm? We're just having a coffee… hai… I'll ask her but I don't think that she'll want to… okay I'll ask her…" Setsuna took the phone away from her ear and spoke to me calmly, "Haruka, Usagi, would like to know if you would come to dinner at her home tomorrow evening?" I looked at Setsuna and I nodded,

"Of course… I'll have to bring Mitsuko… and Noriko, is that okay?" Setsuna spoke to Usagi who squealed down the phone in delight at having Haruka back, then Setsuna closed her phone after saying her goodbyes to myself and the Kaoih's and then Megumi spoke to me again,

"Ah yes, Mitsuko… your girlfriend… you in love with her?" Megumi added too much emphasis to the word girlfriend for me not to notice she said it almost with amusement, I was completely taken back by the question but I managed to just smile,

"Only time will tell." She laughed with her entire body,

"I have to go, Haruka… We'll see you tomorrow at Usagi's, right?" I nodded slowly, and hugged Megumi tightly and we made our way out after paying our bill.

"Take care, Megumi, Hiroshi. See you tomorrow." I walked away, making my way back to the hotel, with only one thought in my mind… Michiru Kaioh, no wait, Michiru Kou… and her new child, Hotaru… and Michiru expected me to become her child's godparent.

As I reached my hotel room, I knocked on the door, only to hear giggling,

"It's me Mitsuko." After a moment, Mitsuko was at the door in her bathrobe, smiling at me, I walked into the room and sat on the bed, not noticing that Noriko was under the sheets, half-asleep. Mitsuko sat beside me and stroked my hair,

"What's up, Ruka, you seem sad." I sighed heavily, and put my forearm over my face,

"She married him… and she had his baby." Mitsuko smiled gently at me, and Noriko sat up in the bed, the sheets covering her,

"She? This the girl you used to talk about?" I nod slowly, and Mitsuko reaches for one of the CDs from my bag, it's Michiru's debut album, no matter what I do I always seem to forget to get rid of it,

"Michiru Kaioh, eh?" Noriko read the name on the CD, Mitsuko never told Noriko about our private conversations, and I was glad for that. I scoffed loudly,

"It's Kou, now." Mitsuko smirks,

"Oh sorry, Ruka… Michiru Kou… if only the world knew how this girl stole your heart."

"If only she knew." Noriko looked at me in disbelief,

"She doesn't know?!" I sat up, shaking my head,

"Nope… and she never will… oh, that reminds me… we have a dinner at my friend Usagi's tomorrow… she'll be there, they all will." Mitsuko sat up,

"Ooh, a dinner with friends, yay, what shall I wear… can Noriko come?" I nod my head, I don't really care who goes with me or what they dress like. All I care about is getting there then leaving as soon as I can. And with any luck, I can spend the entire evening avoiding Michiru and Seiya.

* * *

**So there it is - I hope you can all appreciate the direction I want to take this in, I know not a lot is explained here but remember - laptop problems and most not all was recovered so :(**

**Anyhoo R&R to help me improve!**


	5. Itadakimasu

CHAPTER 4 – ITADAKIMASU

Oh. My. God. Do the gods hate me? Do they really hate me? I spent the entire day being hounded by paparazzi who decided to take a thousand and one pictures of me and Mitsuko shopping, and my God, the ruckus they made when we entered a jewellery shop, everyone was convinced we were getting wedding rings, but were oh-so disappointed when they saw we had emerged with something in a long box, not possibly wedding rings, little did they know it was a necklace and bracelet in silver for Noriko and Mitsuko. Man, those two made a great couple, just to see Noriko's face light up from its usual hostile appearance to one of utter adoration when Mitsuko hugs her, it really makes me feel like there is hope in the world. And Mitsuko adores the ground Noriko walks on, and they love each other deeply, and despite everything that happens, that love will always be there. It makes me happy to see them but at the same time, I can't help but be violently jealous.

It's 6pm, and we're sitting in my car, the yellow Toyota convertible I had shipped everywhere I went – I seriously can't live without this car. Mitsuko is sitting beside me for appearances sake and Noriko is in the back. Usagi's house has not changed one iota deom what I can see; inside, I can see the shadows of everyone by the windows. I sigh heavily and run my hands through my short hair, only to have it fall right back in place. I stand up, in my blood-red button down shirt, black pants and my black blazer and dust myself off. Mitsuko is in a very tight fitting red dress that compliments my outfit to perfection, it has two straps at the top and is following her every curve and accentuating her cleavage but with some modesty. Noriko catches me looking and smacks me upside the head playfully, I grin and Mitsuko loops her arm through mine, Noriko glares at us,

"We must keep up appearances, anyway" she leant into Noriko's ear and whispered very sensually, "Once this is over, I will show you how much I love you in the hotel room, Nori-koi." Mitsuko grinned and Noriko blushed. I laughed loudly,

"Haha, Noriko, blushing? Who'd have thought emotion was in that face?" Noriko cocked her head and shook her head disapprovingly, Mitsuko turned to me,

"So Haruka, the love of your life is in there, how do you want to play this? Me all over you and obvious or just little moments here and there to show you my undying love? You know subtlety is my specialty!" Mitsuko smiled, I smirked again,

"I don't know, if you can drag your eyes off of Noriko, subtle would be nice, but being all over me wouldn't be so bad." I laughed as Noriko scoffed at us, Mitsuko looked over to her lover,

"So, baby, how many kisses are commissioned for tonight?" Noriko thought deeply,

"I'll give ten… no tongue! You hear me, Tenoh?" I smirk as Mitsuko turns to me and our lips meet gently, there are no sparks, but we're all well aware of that, this is for show and to get back into the act. We eventually part and Noriko has her emotionless face on, ready for the night, prepared to accept me and Mitsuko have to pretend to be a loving couple in order to keep up our rather successful act. We walk up to the door and I knock three times, there is an instant silence from inside the house. Slowly the door opens and Usagi opens it, a huge grin plastered on her face,

"Haruka-kun! AH! It really is you!" Usagi hugged me so hard I could hardly breath, but I smiled and kissed her forehead,

"Hey kitten… how you been?" I winked as I saw the engagement ring on her finger, Mamoru instantly appeared beside her grinning, he reached his arms out to me and hugged me tightly,

"Haruka-san!" I was shocked to see Mamoru this happy, especially to see me. As he let go I walked into the living room, Mitsuko and Noriko slowly behind me and I can see everyone in the living room, Setsuna is the only one standing, the others look eager to stand though, Megumi and Hiroshi look at me over the rims of their drinks. I grin and run my hand through my hair once more,

"Hey, kids." With that there is a chorus of squealing as the girls jump on me, deciding I make a much better bouncy castle than a person apparently. As soon as they all calmed down, their jaws dropped to the two women next to me. I follow their gaze then grin,

"Oh everyone… this is Mitsuko Kaya… my girlfriend." Mitsuko bows,

"Pleasure to meet you all." Minako stands and screeches,

"Oh my God, you're Mitsuko Kaya!" I grin,

"I've already said that, Mina-chan." She went red then stared at Mitsuko in awe, then her gaze came to Noriko,

"Oh my God, Noriko Fujiwara! You do the most amazing photographs!" Noriko smiled politely,

"Thank you very much." There is a silence in the room, I look around, no Michiru but there is Seiya grinning at me. Then the sound of footsteps running down the stairs behind me catches my attention, and I turn, only to come face-to-face with Michiru. She stops in her tracks, her hair loose and framing her face perfectly, she doesn't react at first then her facial expression changes to that of shock, she blushes, realising how close she is to me, I smile calmly trying to hide the fact that my insides are racing and fighting the urge to grab her and kiss those delicious lips. I can feel Mistuko tugging on my arm and I turn to her and smile,

"Mitsuko, this is Michiru… Kou. One of my oldest friends. Michi…ru… this is Mitsuko, my girlfriend." The two beauties look at each other then bow respectively, then Haruka heads to Noriko, while the girls instantly talk, about clothes, music and careers. Noriko smiles at Haruka and speaks calmly to her,

"Haruka… I'm giving you an unlimited pass to Mitsuko for tonight."

"Nani?" Well, wouldn't you be shocked if she said that? Noriko laughed gently, and then she spoke quietly, to ensure no-one but I could hear her,

"The second you saw that Michiru woman, I could tell instantly, that you were going to have trouble tonight keeping yourself away from her… you need to seem like you feel nothing for her, am I right?" I nod and she continues, "So tonight, do what you have to. I could tell when she saw you, she had no idea how to react either… Oh hey, that Setsuna chick is kind of hot." I was shocked at the last part of that sentence, and I'm pretty sure it shows,

"What?! Setsuna is strictly off limits amiga. Plus Mitsuko would kill you." Noriko grins,

"Well, if she wants to act and have fun, so will I." I laugh as Noriko approaches Setsuna, and find that Mitsuko is approaching me, her hips swaying seductively and over her shoulder I can see Michiru staring at her, then at me a frown on her face. I smile at Mitsuko and take an obvious look over her body, then Michiru turns away.

"She is really lovely, Haruka… I can see why you felt the way you do about her." I mumble back an agreement, trying very desperately not to look over her shoulder and keep my eyes fixed on the aqua-haired beauty who was now sitting with her husband. Ew, he's so gross. I decided to focus my attention on Mitsuko and now Minako who was admiring her immensely. Across the room, I could see Noriko now talking with Michiru and the two seemingly deep in conversation. I keep my hand firmly around Mitsuko's waist and decided to talk into her ear, giving the effect I was kissing her ear,

"Noriko said we have unlimited showtime, you know?" Mitsuko raised an eyebrow and looked at Noriko, then back to me,

"No, she didn't, you're pulling my leg!" I shake my head, trying so desperately to stop from laughing at her reaction,

"No, I'm serious… watch." With that I pull Mitsuko' chin toward me and kiss her very passionately, she opens her mouth slightly and grants me access to kiss her and we do for a few seconds before I pull away, acting calm and casual, then she looks over to Noriko and smiles when she sees Noriko not showing an ounce of anger.

"She did!" Mitsuko whispers excitedly and I nod, not noticing that everyone was staring at us in disbelief at such an obvious display of affection. I needed to escape before any questions came at me, and I was saved by Mamoru entering the room,

"Hey guys, dinner is ready, and you better get in here… before Usagi has it all to herself." I grinned a little to Mistuko and guided her to the dining room, where a large table was set out. Mamoru sat at the head of the table. Usagi by his side. Ami and Makoto were sitting next to each other, quite closely, now if they ever got together, they'd make one hot couple. Rei sat opposite Usagi and kept rolling her eyes everytime Usagi tried to hide the bowl of rice in her lap. Noriko sat next to Rei then Mitsuko and I sat at the end, next to Minako. Opposite Minako sat Seiya, dead opposite me was… her… Michiru, Yaten and Taiki were half on the table, half off drinking sake and arguing over their favourite songs. I looked around, not being able to see Setsuna, Megumi or Hiroshi,

"Hey, where's Sets?" As I said this, I could see Michiru roll her eyes but Mamoru being the peacekeeper he is, spoke up,

"Oh, Setsuna is with Hiroshi and Megumi next door, looking after Hotaru and Chibiusa." I looked around a little confused, when the hell did they get here? Mamoru continued,

"They were asleep before you got here… they got the kids, they're a little quiet at dinnertime, but I guarantee that as soon as dessert comes out… you'll hear them!" Mamoru almost rolled his eyes as he relieved the memories. I merely laughed. I had been so preoccupied with my illusion with Mitsuko I had completely forgotten that if Seiya and Michiru were here, then so was their child. I could feel Mitsuko grip my hand supportively.

We began to eat and it was eerily silent, that was until Usagi decided to speak, with of course a completely full mouth of rice,

"Oh, Haruka! I forgot to congratulate you on the Mexican Grand Prix… you were amazing, you deserved first by far!" I grin, my little kitten, she never fails to please me,

"Arigatou, kitten," I flash the wink to her, even though she's madly in love with Mamoru it causes her to blush profusely… and I loved it, "I needed to win it or else I lose my championship streak." Usagi grinned at me,

"It's weird though, I could swear that this is your first year at the Tokyo Grand Prix."

Holy crap. Think fast, Haruka!

"Uh, yeah… I seemed to always get injured at the Mexican Grand Prix… and this year it was impossible to win the championship without Tokyo, so here I am." A comfortable silence came over the room… but then she had to speak…

"So, why did you not visit Tokyo before this, Tenoh-san?" I have to admit I was taken back, she had NEVER called me that formally before. I kept my cool,

"I never had a reason to come back before… Kou-san." Shit. I think that definitely got everyone's attention, seeing as how everyone is staring at me. Seiya clears his throat,

"Michiru kept her name after we married, she is not Kou-san." He sounded seriously disappointed and I almost felt sorry for him, shame he's such an ass though. I decide to avoid eye contact with everyone and concentrate on my glass of wine. But my glorious silence is broken by Minako,

"Mitsuko you are so lucky… I heard Haruka dedicates each and every win to you." I spit my wine back into the glass and nearly choke,

"Where the hell did you hear that?!" Minako looks at me confused,

"You said it to the FIA president… remember? Each and every win I have is dedicated to the woman I love." Oh good yee gads. That… I totally forgot I said that. I look up and before I can say anything, my eyes are locked with Michiru who is smiling gently and has the slightest shade of red gracing her cheeks, crap.

"She does dedicate every race to the woman she loves." Mitsuko kisses the back of my hand, I really need to thank her after this, everyone seems to accept that. I sigh in relief slightly. But now, I need some space,

"Um, excuse me, I need some air." Before anyone can say a thing, I am up and in the next room. I have to hold onto the wall as I nearly trip over a pink-haired girl who decided to chase a slice of teriyaki that fell to the floor, no need to question whose child this is,

"You must be Chibiusa, huh?" I say as I regain my composure. The little bundle of energy, looked up at my face slowly then grinned widely, she was about to talk when her eyes went wide and she ran back to the table, talking excitedly to her friend, a little girl about her age with black hair and startling purple eyes. Opposite them sat Setsuna, Hiroshi and Megumi, all speaking rather secretively. I was about to interrupt them when I saw the small black haired girl stand up and grin at me,

"I thought mama was lying!" Megumi looked at the child then scolded her,

"Hotaru, sit down and finish your meal!" Hotaru shook her head,

"But onibaba! Look, it's Haruka Tenoh! I thought mama was lying! I didn't know she really knew him!" Megumi and Setsuna threw their heads around in lightning speed and looked at me, followed by a grin,

"Haruka… come to join the kids table?" I cocked my eyebrow,

"Now, now, Setsuna, there's no need for you to mock Haruka… that's my job." Good old Megumi… like I told you earlier… she's nice, then that jab for me. I scoff a little loudly,

"I'm going outside for some air." Megumi stood,

"Don't you want to meet your godchild Haruka?" I swear I levitated for half a moment, I stopped walking and turned around in under half a second, all in complete shock,

"My godchild? I swear that I have to be present at the child's christening to be their godchild!" Megumi nodded but talked so casually, I may as well have spoken in Aramaic,

"Hmm, yeah I suppose that is true, but Michiru convinced Seiya, that in the event of their death, she is to be taken care of by you… so there, this is your godchild, Haruka." I was speechless and turned to talk to Hotaru but she had already run from the room… did I mention she was screaming? Oh yeah, she most definitely was,

"MAMA!!!!! You're not a liar! Michiru-mama! I said you're not a liar!" A few seconds later, Hotaru re-appeared with Michiru and Seiya slowly behind her,

"What is it, Hotaru-hime?" Michiru's voice still sounded so sweet, I had to keep my cool,

"Mama… Is this the same Tenoh-sama you promised I would meet one day?" Michiru looked at me and nodded slowly, Hotaru squealed so loudly that everyone had to cover their ears, Hotaru ran to my arms and instinctively I grabbed her,

"Tenoh-sama, I am Hotaru Kaioh… you're my godparent!" She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly, I returned the embrace and smiled gently,

"Oh… pleasure to meet you Hotaru Kaioh" I did a fake bow with her in my arms and she giggled, "I am Haruka Tenoh, your… godparent." Godmother sounded too weird to my ears, she put her finger to her chin and thought for a moment,

"Hmm, Haruka-papa sounds nice."

"What?!" Hotaru giggled at me,

"Well, I'm always told that godparents look after you when your parents can't, like substitute parents right? So if my parents go, you become my new papa… Haruka-papa." Five year old logic always seems to make sense when you're confronted with it. I smile again and place Hotaru down, Mitsuko enters the room and drapes herself over me,

"Hmm, Haruka-papa does sound good." She purrs into my ear. I smile, and usually a compliment like that would go a thousand miles, but right now, I need some space, I need air… I need to be away from everyone.

"Um, excuse me. I still need to get some air." I throw a smirk at the end and Mitsuko starts to follow me,

"No, Mitsuko, I need to get some air alone… okay?" She hesitates for a moment then she smiles politely,

"Of course, Haruka." Thank fuck, I can finally get some alone time.

Outside, it's warm, perfect for standing outside and well… being miserable. Okay not perfect weather, but for once, it's not raining and I'm glad to be alone and with my thoughts… I'm loving this slow torture clearly, why else would I agree to come to a dinner where I knew she would be? I hope this is all over soon, so I can go around avoiding everyone till I leave again. Then the door opens behind me, I don't even bother to turn around, no matter who it is I do not want to see them.

"Mitsuko, I told you, I want to be left alone." I felt two arms wrap themselves around my shoulders, I breathed in and my heart skipped a beat. It was her. Her scent. Her delicious, hypnotizing scent. Even after all these years, I could tell it was her instantly. It smelt like sea salts slightly but then of pure freshness, it reminded me of everyday we ever spent at the beach. I closed my eyes and took her scent in and I was about to speak when I heard her voice, this time full of warmth,

"Haruka-papa does sound nice." She sounded sad and I turned around, my heart breaking at the sight of her, her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Michiru… are you okay?" I could only ever be concerned when I saw her like this. She nodded and looked at me, a small smile gracing her features,

"Ruka, you would make an excellent father one day." I looked up at her, taking in her face, wondering what she expected from me. I could only smile gently at her sincerity,

"Michiru, I think you're forgetting that I'm not actually a man." I laughed softly as Michiru smiled gently at me too, she put on of her hands in my hair and gently started stroking my hair… just like how she used to when we lived together, to relax me.

"Michiru?... No Michi, Ruka?" I smiled at her and her hand stopped stroking my hair, and her hand travelled down to my waist and rested there.. I gulped a little, this was new, she NEVER did that before… except in my dreams, but I managed to remain calm somehow,

"Sorry, Michi." She looked down hding her face from me, but giving me a moment to get my bearings, oh fuck, this is too close for my liking.

"Ruka, I really missed you, do you know that?" I stayed still, I wasn't sure… did she? She was distant… maybe that's her way of showing her feelings, by hiding them and not being the Michi I knew around me… until now that is.

"No. I didn't know that." Michiru looked up at me,

"I really missed you, Ruka." I looked down to speak to her but before I could say anything her lips met with mine and she pushed my head down with her hand that was already in my hair and she deepened the kiss, I was about to break away when she silenced me with her tongue entering my mouth, I could feel myself melt, this was all I ever wanted and I felt right, with Michiru in my arms and our lips connected. But I couldn't let this happen because this was not supposed to happen. I pushed her away from me, keeping her at arms distance and my head facing the floor,

"Please don't run off this time, Ruka." I looked down at her, and searched for the first thing in my mind that I could say back to her.

"You're married." She looked at me, she hadn't expected that,

"I know… but I'm not in love with Seiya." I looked away, trying to keep Michiru away from me,

"You have Hotaru." As much as I wanted Michiru, I could not take thing any further than it was now, she was married, with a child. She had to know that too.

"I do… I love Hotaru with all my heart. Nothing could ever stop that… but I'm in love with someone who isn't Seiya, Haruka…" I shook my head and had to took a double-take,

"Michiru, I don't think you should be telling me this." I took my arms off of her but kept the distance between us clear. Michiru shook her head at me,

"No… that day at my parents… after you left, then I couldn't find you the next day, then I found out that you changed your flight and took an earlier one, and I knew that I wouldn't see you for a long time. Though not this long" She looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, teasing me, "And it was in that instant, that I felt a part of me die. I didn't know why I felt this bad when you left, I thought it was because you were my best friend and I thought you had abandoned me… it was only when I got to our apartment the next day, I was in your room, sitting on your old bed when I found a book you left behind. It was your journal from the first year of high school," I could feel my heart skip a beat, she read THAT journal? Oh fuck

In high school, or more accurately since the day I realised I was madly in love with Michi, I decided to keep a journal of my feelings, an outlet just for me. I wrote many things in it… things that involved my thoughts about Michiru, how I felt about her and many, MANY pages about the many ways in which I could express my physical love for her. God, I could only hope she couldn't read it all properly due to my poor penmanship. I blame the stupid guidance counsellor who told me to keep the damned journal… but right now, the important thing is she has found it, and she may have read it…Fuck. Michiru continued,

"I was shocked Haruka, I have to say, reading the poems you wrote about me, the honest feelings in the book, about the dreams you had about me, those… well, those more explicit thoughts… how you felt about me, Seiya, everything… I read it and it broke my heart… it broke my heart because I realised how hard it must have been for you to just be my friend and not let your feelings get in the way… I realised after I finished reading the book that I would never be happy or complete, not at least, until you came back and we could… confront this properly." What the hell was I supposed to say? I closed my eyes and spoke quietly,

"Michi… I'm sorry but we can't do this." Michiru smiled and pulled away from me,

"I know… I'm sorry… I know about you and Mitsuko, but I just had to do that; just to know if anything was there." I looked down at Michiru,

"And is anything there?" Michiru hesitated, I took that as a no, and I sighed heavily, but before I could do anything else, I felt Michiru move closer to me, but I moved my head, if she kissed me now, I knew everything would change for good.

"There's something you should know, Michi." She looked at me concerned,

"What is it, Ruka?"

"We can't… not because I don't want to… but because…." I laughed bitterly as I couldn't even bring myself to find a half-decent excuse to finish my sentence, but Michiru's eyes widened and she had a mischievous grin across her face, she whispered seductively into my ear,

"Because of Mitsuko?" I nodded, but decided to reply flatly,

"And what concern is that to you, Michiru Kaioh?" She grinned seductively at me and I almost melted as I felt her hands reach up to my shirt and unbutton the top three buttons of my shirt,

"Well, I don't want your conscience to feel bad… should she get angry and find you in a compromising position." I straightened my posture and did my buttons back up, bar the top two,

"No, she won't be angry… but something tells me Seiya will." I couldn't take this, I had to leave, I turned for the door only to have Michiru block my way,

"Come to my house tomorrow."

"I can't, I have training tomorrow."

"I can wait for you… Seiya is working late tomorrow night and you said you have to meet Hotaru properly, remember? Please?" She used Hotaru against me? That was low, but I realised I could not say no, especially when I saw her deep blue eyes, and I nodded in defeat. I sighed loudly,

"Of course. Give me the address and I'll come around at say 8pm?" Michiru grinned then kissed me on the cheek. I managed to refrain from smiling,

"We had better go before people start to suspect we are doing something scandalous, Ruka." I nodded, and we walked to the front door in silence. I opened the door and came face-to-face with a very angry Seiya, who decided to forgo the usual greeting of hello and instead greeted me with his fist connecting with my face. Fuck, that hurt


	6. I Don't Know What's Wrong With Her

**A/N - Just a quick note to inform people that I have bought a new laptop... this means more regular updates than using the computer everyone in my home does... so yay for that right? I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing - they really do enourage me to get off my lazy arse and write some more :D I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I look forward to your feedback as usual! Enjoy! Another A/N at the bottom to bother you more!

* * *

**

CHAPTER 5 – … BUT I'LL BET IT'S HARD TO PRONOUNCE

The hospital wasn't that bad really, the doctor that took me in was Ami and she treated me so no-one else discovered my real gender that night. Ami cleaned up my face and she smiled fondly at me, causing me to grin like an idiot,

"Good to see you Haruka-san. How have you been?" She said it like I had never been gone, good old Mizuno. I grin, even though my nose has only just stopped bleeding and she smiles back,

"I've been good… a little homesick… you?" Ami smiled gently at me,

"I've been fine, overworked in ym final year at med school."

"How's Mako-chan?" Ami immediately blushed and threw me a look of utter dismay,

"Wh-wh-what are you implying Haruka?!" Hehe. Good old Ami, still as easily flustered as ever about her crush on Mako-chan… I wonder if she even knew that Makoto liked her. Once, at Usagi's, me and Sets snuck in some sake, and after half a bottle Makoto told me she would give anything to taste Ami's lips.

"I'm just asking… I was told by Usagi you two share an apartment… so who would know how she is better than you?" There she goes… madly blushing again. I chuckle lightly, she finally calms down and closes her eyes,

"Makoto-chan is just fine, Haruka. We're just friends."

"Heh, sure you are… you two are so clueless it's adorable."

"We're not the only ones." Even though Ami muttered that, I clearly heard it. What did she mean? Surely not about me and Michi? No, surely not… I mean, even if there was anything there… no-one except us would know… right? I must have looked really stupid arguing with myself in my head, Ami's laugh brought me back to life,

"You never know how to just make an ordinary return do you, Haruka-san?"

"What can I say? Drama follows me." She shakes her head,

"Indeed. Haruka. Okay well, your nose isn't broken, but it will be bruised for a few days." Ami smiled supportively at me,

"What the hell did you do to get hit so badly though, Haruka?"

_Haruka stepped back onto her heel, preventing herself from falling and she had to evade Seiya's next fist aimed directly at her nose, so she ducked and punched him in the stomach but Seiya landed his next hit directly into the bridge of the tomboy's nose, Haruka howled in pain, blood beginning to pour from her nose,_

"_You black haired bastard, I'll kick the shit out of you for that!" Seiya scoffed loudly at the tomboy,_

"_Oh, what's the matter Tenoh? Afraid of losing your pretty face?!" Haruka merely smirked, the blood still pouring over her mouth, and she lunged at Seiya, tackling him to the ground and began to fiercely punch his face,_

"_Stop it, both of you!" As soon as Haruka heard Michiru's voice, she froze, and looked up, only to be have Seiya uppercut her in the chin, sending the blond flying backwards and nearly landing flat on her back in the shock, Seiya stood over Haruka, Taiki and Yaten holding him back, Haruka stood up,_

"_Stay away from her… she's not yours." Seiya whispered it and it seemed as though only Haruka could hear, he lifted his hand one last time to punch the blond,_

"_If I catch you near my wife again, I'll kill you, Tenoh!" Suddenly Michiru was standing in front of Seiya, her face in an unreadable expression but the only thing we can be sure of is this… Michiru is not happy._

"_Seiya, what has gotten into you?" Her voise was resolute, calm and poised… Michiru to a tee. Seiya looked at her, opened his mouth but then he stopped at looked at Haruka, hate glazing his eyes over. In that time, everyone had stood deadly still on the porch, seeing the blonde standing opposite Seiya, Michiru between them and Seiya's good friends holding him back._

"_You are my problem, Tenoh." Haruka held Seiya's gaze and wondered how long he had been standing on the other side of that door, or if he had seen anything through the window which was totally plausible,_

"_What are you talking about Seiya?!" Michiru was nearly screaming at him as he kept trying to edge closer to Haruka,_

"_You're barely back twenty four hours and you're all over Michiru. I don't like it and I do not like you." Haruka's eyes never broke from the irate man in front of her,_

"_I don't know what you're talking about, Kou-san." He laughed loudly and bitterly, Haruka looked to Mitsuko for help and she stepped past everyone and came to her side while Seiya continued his rant,_

"_You and Michiru out here… alone… for nearly five minutes, that's enough time for you, isn't it?!" Hotaru began crying at this moment and Haruka instinctively picked her up and began trying to calm her,_

"_Put my damned daughter down!" Seiya went forward again but was stopped by Taiki and Yaten, Michiru shook her head at him, Hiroshi took a firm grip on Seiya's collar to restrain him, as he and the other guests arrived upstairs to check on what was causing all the commotion,_

"_Seiya, I was inviting Haruka to our home tomorrow night for a welcome home dinner… baka." Haruka looked at Michiru, the blonde was shocked she lied, but was glad as it saved her from having to fight Seiya._

Ami looked at me, the concerned look never leaving her eyes,

"You can go home, Haruka… Mitsuko is downstairs in the lounge with her friend Noriko, waiting for you." I stand up from the bed and stretch but then I can feel my face sting at the movement of yawning, Ami looks at me concerned,

"Are you okay, Haruka?" I nod and grin,

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just tired."

"Well, Haruka, I'm going to stay here for a bit… I think that the party is over anyway."

"I'm sorry I wrecked it." Ami grinned at me,

"Well, it wouldn't have been a real party, had something not happened involving you and another woman, Haruka." I fake a look of shock and hurt,

"Oi… I'll have you know, that nothing was ever proven at these parties you imply!"

"Yeah… and all you were doing was planning a dinner party with Michiru! Goodnight Tenoh-san!" Ami walked from the room, I grinned to myself, she really was smarter than anyone else. I left the room shortly after and walked down the hallway. I reached the lounge and found Mitsuko asleep on Noriko's chest. I smile, and I figure I can waste a moment to let them sleep like that… but if someone saw them, man, that could be fatal for us, so I gently shake Noriko awake,

"Hey, Noriko-san… time to go back." I gently shake her awake, she frowns, then smiles and proceeds to wake Mitsuko up. Kawaii, those two, I think to myself. Then I feel a hand touch my shoulder, I turn around and there before me is Seiya, with Michiru behind him, her parents are standing next to her, smiling at me supportively. In Seiya's arms is a slightly uneasy Hotaru,

"Can I help you Kou-san, or can my face take a break from being your punching bag for now?" My cold voice clearly got to him as he straightened up and clenched his jaw, he looked to Michiru who held a stern facial expression, then he sighed,

"I wanted to apologise Tenoh-sama… I… I didn't mean to lose my temper like that at you." I look over at Michiru who is smiling hopefully at me, I smile too,

"It's fine, Kou-san. I understand that we were never on the best of terms. If you will excuse me, I have to go. Goodnight." I bow respectively, but before I can walk any further, I can feel Michiru's delicate soft hand on my shoulder,

"Are you still coming by tomorrow? I would like for you to come by so we can catch up, Haruka." She smiled ever so gently at me and once again I melted, and once again I fought the urge to capture her lips with my own.

"Hai. You can expect me there, eight o'clock sharp." And with that, Mitsuko, Noriko and myself decided to leave the hospital. I stood in the middle as both girls hugged me supportively around the waist. I turned back one last time before we entered a cab that Noriko had hailed for and found Michiru stroking Seiya's back lovingly, while holding Hotaru, then she stole a glance at me and smiled. It was the smile that only I could invoke, it was the smile Michiru truly meant to show happiness, and I knew now, it was the same smile she reserved only for me. I grinned to myself and got into the cab.

In my hotel room that night, I slept on the couch while Noriko and Mitsuko slept soundly in each other's arms, I could only think of the kiss Michiru had with me, and the more I thought about it, the more pleasure ran through me, the moment her lips touched mine, they were as soft as I had always imagined and she kissed with experience, her tongue felt like a pleasure reserved only for the gods as it had entered my mouth.

Oh no, no, no, no, no! I can hear that annoying voice on its way to me… I'm sure you know the one, the one filled with doubt. The one that tells you everything is only happening to make you look like a fool? Oh crap, it's here. I hate doubt, but I guess its necessary right? I mean, she kissed me. She told me that she felt as though she had died inside… 'But what if all this was just her testing me?' No, Michi's my best friend. We've known each other since I was eight, she was most certainly not out to make me look a fool. 'Ah, well maybe she does find you attractive Haruka… but are you just going to be a fling to her, something to take her out of her mundane life? Save her from falling into mother and wife mode and give her the edge by being her lover?' I ignore this loud thought and I know deep inside me that Michiru would be honest with me about her feelings for me, if there really were any… all I had to do now was survive a day in driving, and then go to her home. Oh, crap. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to hold myself back from her if she was going to be forward.

I arrived at Michiru's house at 8:15pm, I was running a little late because I was debating not turning up, but I figured I owed it to her to come and see her. She had slipped a message to Mitsuko about her address and Mitsuko gave me the address in the safety of our hotel room after I returned from driving. I was exhausted but managed to throw myself in the shower, and then get dressed in some laid back dark blue jeans and a fitted grey t-shirt. I just was not in the mood to be too dressed up.

Michiru's home was large, and very elegant. It reeked of Michiru, I'm glad that I could tell instantly Seiya had nothing to do with any of the décor. The house was a two story building, that spanned half a street on its own, it must have had five bedrooms, a swimming pool (knowing Michi it definitely did), and several separate studios just so Michiru could concentrate on her arts. The slightly off-white avocado colour was welcoming and the ivy growing on the house gave it a quaint warm, welcoming feel.

As I rang the doorbell, I waited for a few moments, on the way here I decided to grab a bouquet of flowers, roses, her favourites. I ran my hand through my hair nervously and a few moments later, the door was opened and she stood there. My God, how can one woman constantly look so different in terms of beauty but always look the same every day? She takes my breath away, and I can feel my face blush as I look away from her face. She cocks her head, grins and holds the door open,

"I thought you weren't coming." I decide to regain my cool with some flirting,

"Well, Michi, I had to make sure you really wanted me here." She stood very close to me and spoke into my ear, her breath hot and sending me wild,

"I most definitely do." I smile but decide to play hard-to-get tonight. I walk past her but then turn and show her the magnificent bouquet of flowers, she smiles and takes them from me, closing the door behind herself.

"I'll put these in water… dinner is nearly ready by the way… are you hungry?" I nod as she looks at me and I take in the house, it was almost like being back in our apartment. At our old apartment Michiru decided she was in charge of how it looked then too… and here was clearly no different, her amazing paintings adorned the walls and everything just reeked of class. Typical Michiru. I found my way to the living room and stopped just short of the sofa, staring up at a painting in the living room. It was of a violinist, her instrument in her hands, but she was glancing at the empty piano beside her. I felt a pang in my heart, damn it hurt, I knew this was about me, it was dated three weeks after I had left Japan. This feeling didn't last long as I felt two slender arms wrap around my shoulder, and Michiru's head rested against my back, I could feel her sigh deeply,

"Hmm… I definitely missed you… and your cologne, Haruka." I looked up at the painting one last time, then turned to face Michiru,

"I missed you too, Michi." I kept my head low so as to avoid any unnecessary incidents with Michiru, she took my hand in hers and she smiled longingly at me,

"I really wish you had spoken to me before you left… about it, I didn't like that I had to find out from a diary… and Setsuna… Haruka, why didn't you tell me? At my parents? Before you left?" My voice abandoned me as I looked at Michiru, all I could do was stand still and fight back the tears in my eyes, the tears that wanted to tell her about the times I had come so close to telling her before, and I thought about the first time I had gained all my courage to speak to her.

_Walking through the hallway of the Kaioh home, Haruka marched determinedly to the door of her best friend, Michiru Kaioh. Haruka had been speaking to Setsuna for an hour, and although everyone who saw the two were convinced that Haruka had managed to get 'himself' acquainted with a college girl, Haruka just knew Setsuna was someone she could talk to. Setsuna had spent the past hour convincing Haruka to go to Michiru now and tell her everything. At a friends party, the week before, they were playing truth or dare and Michiru took a risk and chose dare, and of course, the girls who didn't know Haruka was in fact a woman dared Michiru to kiss Haruka. Haruka, although dying happily inside at the chance, decided to play the gentleman and say Michiru did not have to do it, but Michiru said that it was just a kiss and didn't matter because they were only friends. But as soon as Michiru's lips had touched Haruka's, Haruka was certain that the feeling awoken in her was more than lust, by far, it was love. She loved Michiru Kaioh._

_And here Haruka was, standing outside Michiru's bedroom. It was now or never. She knocked on the door, and heard Michiru reply excitedly,_

"_Come in!" Haruka got all her confidence and decided to open the door and walk in, as she did, Michiru leapt straight into Haruka's arms, and Haruka grinned – a great start she thought._

"_Ruka! I am so glad it's you, I have to tell you something!" Though Haruka had the overwhelming urge to speak to Michiru, seeing the girls excitement in her eyes, she had to know what had gotten the younger girl so riled,_

"_What is it Michi?" Michiru leapt over to her bed and hugged her pillow, Haruka sat on the edge of the bed and laughed, stroking a strand of hair from the younger girl's face,_

"_Seiya Kou asked me out officially! I have a boyfriend!" Haruka's hand froze, but she forced out a smile,_

"_That's great, Michi." Michiru could tell the blonde wasn't being honest with her,_

"_You don't like him, Ruka?" Haruka hesitated before answering,_

"_No, it's not that… It was just a shock." Michiru seemed content in that answer and grinned like a fool._

"_So, what did you want, Ruka?" Michiru seemed to not actually pay attention as she practically had love hearts in her eyes,_

"_I wanted to ask tell you… that I… um, heard a rumour a guy was going to ask you out… but seems like you already knew." Haruka forced another smile and Michiru looked concerned, before Michiru could speak again the tomboy stood,_

"_I'd better go back and get on with my homework. Later." Haruka left the room before the younger girl could say a thing._

I found myself looking at Michiru,

"Yeah… but that's in the past now, Michiru." I decided now was the time to break all physical contact. So I stepped back,

"Ruka, come, talk to me." Michiru grabbed my hand and lead me to the couch where she had decided we would sit until dinner was ready. I was reluctant but obliged, taking my seat next to her but keeping my distance, my hands interlocked and my head hanging down slightly. Michiru sat back, and sighed loudly,

"You should have just told me. I would have been more than fine with it." I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and look over at her,

"Michi… I… I'm sorry I… wait, what?." I stood again, confused… shit, I had to go, I could see where this was going, but Michiru was up instantly, ready to block my way, her determined expression plastered across her face, she was angry at me too, and she looked sexy as hell when she was angry,

"You said you weren't going to run away, Haruka." I shook my head, trying to walk around her but finding myself blocked at every attempt.

"No, Michiru, forget what I said! I know what's going to happen here and it can't okay? It just can't! You're married to that bastard Seiya, you have a kid and now I really can't see the point in telling you that I'm still in love with you! It will only lead to things that shouldn't happen, to things that can't happen!" Michiru looked at me, she looked as though she were about to cry, she lowered her head and I felt like shit. Damn, this was not going as well as I had planned. Michiru lifted her head slightly, and looked at me, tears streaming from her beautiful blue eyes,

"You're still in love with me?" I took a step back. I realised that I must have slipped up… crap, I said I'm still in love with her… and she most definitely heard. I opened my mouth, about to defend myself, to say it was said accidentally, but I was silenced again when I felt her lips against mine, her hands around my neck pushing me into her, and I tried to pull back, to be strong, but Michiru definitely had her grip on me. She managed to push me back and I could feel the couch behind me, I let myself fall on it, in a seated position and Michiru looked down at me her eyes were filled with lust as she looked over my body and locked her eyes with mine. She slowly lowered herself onto my lap, almost teasing me with her perfect body, and then I felt that sensation… that fantastical, fulfilling and utterly satisfying sensation… the sensation of her lips joining with mine and her legs straddling my waist. I could feel her tongue gently lick my lip and I opened my mouth further, allowing her entry to my mouth and once again it was the only thing on this earth I desired. She knew exactly how to kiss me and how to please me, her tongue danced across my own and she moaned into my mouth, causing me to nearly lose my mind. I could feel her nails digging into my shoulders and I held my arms around her, enveloping her and slowly my arms ventured under the white silk blouse she was wearing and up her back, only to find she wasn't wearing a bra, my moan intensified at the realisation and Michiru moved her mouth to biting my earlobe and she began to moan loudly into my ear,

"Haruka, take me, now… take me here." Holy fuck! Did Michiru really say that? She wants me to – to fuck her? Or to make love to her here? In her living room? My mind with the thoughts of Michiru saying these heavenly words to me, and the thinking of the things I could do to her… and the ways I could do them to her… but before I could respond, I could feel Michiru biting my neck, and I gasped at the contact of her teeth and my skin, I felt so amazingly complete, life could not be better… I had Michiru in the way I always had dreamed of… but… why do I feel guilty? Oh fuck!

"Michiru! What about Hotaru?!" Michiru looked up at me, and began to kiss my neck,

"She's upstairs, in her own little world, don't worry… Haruka, please – " Michiru was cut off as we both heard a door close from upstairs. I could hear a shuffling from the stairs that adjoined the living room, and Michiru instantly threw herself away from me, stood up and started straightening her hair and looked up at the stairs just in time, smiling widely to the little black-haired girl who appeared in a neat, little black dress and looked at her mother,

"Hotaru darling… I didn't hear you, I thought you were busy with your dolls." Hotaru looked directly at me, and I straightened up from my sitting position on the sofa, Hotaru's startling violet eyes, reading my face, and taking in everything about me.

"I heard someone shout my name…" Fuck, did I really shout that loud? Haruak you baka! Hotaru smiled at me, "Haruka-papa?" Hotaru descended the stairs, keeping her ever keen eyes on me. I felt somewhat uncomfortable, but I managed to put a smile on when I saw Michiru bend down and pick her daughter up,

"Yes baby… Haruka swore she would come tonight… and here she is." Hotaru's eyes bulged when she finally looked at me, and she mouthed my name to herself several times.

"She? But this-this is m-m-my Haruka-papa!" Michiru looked confused then Hotaru rushed to me, checking all over me intently and then she smiled widely.

"You're my Haruka-papa aren't you?!" I nodded and Hotaru seemed to calm down… she beamed at me and in return I smiled warmly at the child; she was honest and sweet, and I'm glad she didn't realise that her Haruka-papa was indeed a woman,

"Phew… I'm glad… I don't think I could ever call you Haruka-mama… even if Seiya hates it, you're my Haruka-papa now!" I was slightly taken back… what five year old calls their parent by their first name?

"Well, Hotaru, I am a very old friend of your mama's and any name you decide to give me I would be honoured to have hime… but tell me… why does your daddy hate me being called Haruka-papa?" Hotaru looks at Michiru who clears her throat,

"Hotaru always calls her daddy Seiya… never daddy or papa… and after her new name for you, well… don't forget, Ruka that Seiya is not your biggest fan." I can't help but grin to myself; after what Michiru and myself had nearly done, how could I blame him for not liking me? Hotaru beams up at me,

"But I am Haruka-papa!" This child truly is utterly adorable,

"Glad to hear it, princess." Hotaru instantly began to squeal,

"My friends are never going to believe that I know the famous Haruka Tenoh!" Michiru grabbed her daughter around her waist and lifted her up,

"Calm down, Hotaru… darling, go and wash your hands before dinner, okay?" Hotaru nodded and bowed to me as she ran to the kitchen to obey her mother. I straightened my posture, I smiled a little sadly,

"She looks like Seiya... I'm sorry, Michi about - " Michiru put a finger up to my lip to silence me,

"Don't be, Haruka… I wanted it as much as you did… You have to join us for dinner, Haruka, or Hotaru would never forgive me or you." I smile,

"Okay… but I'm leaving as soon as dinner is over." Michiru raised an eyebrow shocked but then smiled, almost seeming to be amused at me.

A couple of hours later, we had moved from the kitchen to the living room, where we watched a movie on the television and Hotaru eventually fell asleep between myself and Michiru on the sofa. I looked at my watch. It was 11pm. I knew I should leave soon, if I stayed any longer, then I would most probably be convinced into staying the night… and if I stayed the night, God knows what could happen.

"I have to get going Michiru… but I had fun at dinner." I decided to emphasise that last part as the part before dinner, as much as I enjoyed the taste of her lips on mine, and the feel of her in my arms before dinner I had to let her know that we couldn't do that anymore, no matter how much I wanted to… she was married, and we both had to respect that.

"Okay, let me see you to the door then." I didn't really have a choice but decided to let her accompany me. We walked to the door in silence and as she watched me as I put my jacket on and opened the door, and the cold night air hit me hard. I shivered but then regained myself. I turned to Michiru and smiled warmly, I was glad to see her after all,

"Goodnight, Michi. I enjoyed dinner… Hotaru is a great kid. And it seems as though Seiya does look after you well… I know he loves you." It completely killed me to tell her that, but it was true, as much as I hated the prick, he did adore Michiru and he had never treated her bad, or made her cry. And I have to give him that right? Michiru looked at me and leaned against the door-frame, she bit her lip and looked distressed a little.

"What's wrong, Michiru?" She looked up at me, and she closed her eyes slowly, breathing calmly before she decided to speak,

"I have to confess something to you, Haruka", I raised my eyebrow in a slight interest but tried to seem only ever slightly intrigued, "When we were at my parents… and I told you that Seiya proposed to me… I lied." I could feel all my muscles tense, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, not yet, she kept speaking "He did ask me… but I told him no… I couldn't bring myself to marry someone I wasn't in love with. After you left, I told him that I changed my mind, that I did want him –"

"But you were already pregnant with his child." I could feel the anger rising steadily within me, but I decided to play it cool… maybe this was another test… maybe she wanted to see if I was genuine… but why do this? Why after we had kissed? Why after we had come so close to making love? Why would Michiru fuck around with me like this? Why now, dammit?!

"No, I told everyone that… but Hotaru was premature. I don't know why I said it to be honest, other than to make Seiya think I knew I was bearing his child before I agreed to marry him, to make him think I loved him but – "

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, MICHIRU! Why are you telling me this?! Do you have any real thoughts for anyone other than yourself or are you really just this spoilt little fucking girl?!" I spat every word with venom, I wanted her to know how ridiculous she was for playing with emotions. She not only played with mine, but Seiya's. I actually felt sorry for Seiya! What the hell was going on in this world if I felt sorry for Seiya?! The poor bastard, he probably felt like shit when Michiru said no to him without a good reason… Poor fucking Seiya. Did I actually say that? I guess I did. That poor, poor bastard. Michiru could be such a self-centred bitch, and here she was trying to… trying to what? Confess to me? Win me over? Test me? Either way, I didn't want to hear anymore. She needed to know, I'd have enough of her shit. She needed to come clean and be honest with everyone and make an adult decision… but first she had to be an adult.

"Michiru, just grow up. Everyone else has." I walked away before I could see or hear her reaction. And this time, I didn't regret walking away from Michiru.

* * *

**A/N 2 - This a quick note to people who've helped me!**

**Reusch17 - I took your advice and got a new Acer laptop direct from Acer, it should arrive next Wednesday and then from then on lots of awesomeness shall occur!**

**Lita DeLaCour - thank you for your reviews! I love how you think like me while reading the story!**

**gotToluvAnime - I will make you a plushi if you make me another Saeki hugging Haruka one!**

**To everyone else, your reviews are greatly appreciated and I love hearing your praise (and criticism! Seriously if you don't tell me I will not know!)... so keep it up - and things will soon get much more interesting and fast paced as soon as teh Grand Prix gets closer...**

**Oh and for those that asked... on Sunday - expect a Seiya POV chapter (will be better than the crappy Michiru one I gave you!) -take care**

**Karis!**


	7. The Poor Boy's Heart

**A/N - This is a Seiya POV... please be patient, it's a little OOC, but it's my story so there! Anyway thank you to SilentKing for your amazing review, I hope you got my message and I hope this clears up a few things that people had been asking me. Also, this will end at about ten chapters otherwise it will be painfully long to read (and write :D) so enjoy the last few chapters left and keep reviewing, it really is encouraging me! (RukaMichi, Reusch, all you amazing people!) My laptop ahs been delayed till the 3rd of March, but teh good news is I plan another different fic to start in March. Take care, and thanks for reading!**

* * *

CHAPTER 6 – THE POOR BOY'S HEART

I knew when I first started Mugen Gakuen that it wouldn't be easy to make new friends. But I had two friends who already attended the high school; Yaten and Taiki, and they swore they'd help me out. On the first day of school, when I entered the cafeteria at lunch, I tried my best to be nice to everyone but I couldn't, because one certain girl took my attention away; she was sitting in a group of six girls and one tall, short haired blonde. But this girl, she was sitting in the middle, pouting over her friend who had stolen her bag of potato chips. She had blonde hair and for some reason the tall, short haired blonde sitting a few seats away kept calling her 'odango'. Then I saw her hair and realised why, I chuckled to myself, 'Bun-head', I thought to myself. But she was cute. Not just cute, but gorgeous, even when acting like a baby, she had a charm about her that I was mesmerized by. I was thrown out of my trance when I felt Taiki's arm around my shoulder and he led me to the group. I smiled nervously as we approached; Yaten spoke up in my place,

"Hey… this is our buddy, Kou Seiya, he just moved here, but he's cool. Be nice," The tall blond looked over at me and smirked before resting 'his' head against an absolutely beautiful aqua-haired girl. The girl with such unique hair looked up at me and smiled,

"Hello, Kou-san, welcome to Mugen… I hope you find our school pleasant." Despite Michiru's formal manner, I could tell she was being sincere. We soon became good friends, and in fact she was the one who broke my heart the day she told me some news from which I would never recover.

"_Well?" Seiya almost pounced on his female companion, Michiru smiled sadly at him,_

"_Sorry, Seiya-kun, but Usagi told me she likes Mamoru… he even asked her to the formal… I couldn't even ask on your behalf because she already said yes." Seiya's face dropped instantly and he sank against the lockers,_

"_Oh man… I should have known better… Haruka-kun told me she was taken." Seiya put his hands over his head, covering most of his forehead, and Michiru knelt beside him,_

"_Cheer up, Seiya-kun, I'm sure you can find someone else!" Before Seiya could respond, the sound of a husky voice could be heard above the two,_

"_Find someone else for what?" Michiru looked up, to be greeted with Haruka's smile. She smiled back and whispered,_

"_Seiya is looking for a lady to take to the winter formal… but the girl he asked is unavailable," Michiru stood up, slowly followed by Seiya, Haruka ran a hand through 'his' hair,_

"_I told you Usagi was taken." Seiya frowned at the blonde's arrogance, but before he could say anything Michiru was bringing attention back to the matter at hand,_

"_Well, Haruka you're not one to talk, you don't have anyone to take either."_

"_Yet." The blonde interjected. It was at this moment, Seiya got an idea and his eyes began to twinkle,_

"_Michiru do you have anyone to take you to the dance yet?" Michiru hesitated before she took her eyes off of the blonde and looked at Seiya,_

"_Not yet." Seiya looked confused at her response,_

"_What do you mean, not yet?" Michiru glanced to Haruka who was looking at her with curiosity too,_

"_Well, the person I want to go with hasn't asked me yet." Seiya thought for a moment and he looked over at Haruka, who seemed to be looking away, not really in the conversation. Michiru was looking at the floor, Seiya took a deep breath, and he took Michiru's hand in his, kissing the back of her hand gently, causing the blond tomboy to stiffen at seeing the intimate touch between the two._

"_Kaioh-san, would you please do me the honour of accompanying me to the winter dance?" Michiru looked down to Seiya, whose eyes were filled with a little bit of desperation but also sincerity. It seemed as though he really wanted to go with her. Michiru turned her head to Haruka, who had a frown on her face but turned her face away after a second,_

"_How could I say no, Kou-san?" Michiru smiled politely and as Seiya bowed to Michiru she saw Haruka, who at this point had placed her false smile on her face,_

"_Well, now this is all done, can we finally go to lunch?" Haruka sounded irritated. Seiya looked over at her,_

"_Now, all we have to do is find Haruka-kun here a date." The blonde waved her hand,_

"_Not necessary, Kou-san… I'm not going. I have other things to do." Michiru looked shocked at Haruka, she was sure she had seen Haruka shopping for a suit a week or so ago,_

"_Ruka, you're not going? But I swear I saw you shopping for a suit the other day." The blonde nearly stuttered but instead she laughed,_

"_Michi, I don't need a dance as an excuse to buy a suit. Anyway, I'm at the track that night, working till late." Michiru shook her head in disbelief,_

"_Is nothing more important than your precious racing, Ruka?" Haruka lowered her eyes and looked at Michiru,_

"_There is one thing." Haruka looked at her watch, and then looked over to Seiya and bowed,_

"_See you guys later." Haruka walked away, leaving myself and Michiru shocked at the tomboy's behaviour._

It was after that dance, at the winter formal, when I knew that life without Usagi wouldn't be so bad, I was sure that other people lived life without the person they loved deeply and still lived happily, loving someone else, maybe not as much but enough to know what love can feel like. At that dance, Michiru gave all her attention to me, which I thought would be impossible since Haruka wasn't there, but she did and it made me feel special. I was certain that Michiru and Haruka were an item, they were close, I mean at the time everyone… even me… thought Haruka was a guy, and he was a very handsome guy, and Michiru was always with Haruka so it was only natural for everyone to think they were a couple.

It wasn't until a few weeks later, Michiru invited me to her home when we got partnered in history that she told me Haruka was really a woman and I swore to keep it a secret. In fact, she made me swear in front of everyone in our group; Mamoru, Usagi, Yaten, Taiki, everyone, and any promise I made in front of Usagi, I swore to keep regardless, until the day I died. The countless times in the three years me and Michi dated in high school were I was so tempted to tell everyone that their precious Tenoh was in fact a girl was nearly overwhelming but the thought of Usagi feeling betrayed after my promise to her nearly broke my heart… and I could never have Usagi thinking I betrayed her. Never.

I felt bad when I first told Michiru I wanted to take things a step further in our relationship, we had been dating for two years and I need closure I guess. I mean I was eighteen and she was seventeen, and in our relationship I never really pushed it further than kissing because she was younger than me by those two years… that and I thought that if I dared touch more than her lips, Haruka would break my legs and arms. But after I asked Michiru it seems as though the entire school knew… and I was shocked as Haruka didn't even come and speak to me like she did just before our first date, and well, every date after that telling me that if I even dared touch Michiru in a way she disapproved of she could make me disappear and no-one would question it. I knew that Haruka was protective, and not just because she was Michiru's friend, but because she liked Michiru, you know, _really_ liked, the way that lovers do… you had to be an idiot to not know or notice that when Haruka was around Michiru… But, instead of threatening to end my life, Haruka ignored me… and Michiru. I felt bad. I was using Michiru really. To dull a pain in me. To dull the pain of not having Usagi in the way I could have Michiru. And then came Christmas Eve, and Michiru turned up at the love hotel, she had been crying, I could tell but I didn't ask, and I told her we didn't have to do any of this. She ignored and she threw herself at me, kissing me roughly and passionately and she removed all her clothing and told me to shut up and just do it. It. You know, the big _it_. I was so nervous, but I did and it was amazing… well, for me. I could tell the entire time that Michiru wasn't really with me, her eyes were closed and she kept wincing every time I pushed deep inside of her. We were quiet afterwards, she didn't hold me or hug me, she pretended to be asleep, she thought I didn't know but I did, she waited until I was asleep to cry, I knew she did because when I woke up her eyes were red and swollen.

At school, in our final year, Michiru became attached to me, intent on being with me as much as she could, and I didn't mind, I liked it, at least there was someone who wanted to be with me… even if I wasn't the one she wanted to be with ultimately, it didn't matter because she wasn't _the one_ either, not for me. And so we carried on our relationship, neither of us having the guts to admit our deceit. I always wondered which person it was Michiru always wanted to be with though, I mean the only other guys she hung out with were Mamoru who I painfully reminded myself was deeply in love with Usagi… then there were Taiki and Yaten, my buddies but Michiru clearly had no interest in them. So I wondered… but it became clear as the daylight the evening we went to Usagi's to open our exam results.

Setsuna was there, she was mainly Haruka's 'friend' but most of our group accepted her because we all thought that she and Haruka were lovers… well, most of the group except Michiru, she thought they were lovers but she did not like Setsuna… I put it down to Setsuna being smarter than Michiru but at Usagi's… when she was sitting on my lap, I could see the frown on her face when Setsuna ruffled Haruka's hair. It was the same frown I had whenever I saw Mamoru stroke Usagi's cheek. Fuck. She was in love with Haruka. Haruka was _her one_ and she was Haruka's even if she didn't realise it. When Haruka told us she wasn't going to university I wasn't shocked, but I was shocked when she said she got offered her F1 contract, I was sort of shocked, maybe happy for her, no annoyed, she had outdone me. I hadn't even noticed that Michi had run out of the room until I had seen Haruka rush after a blur of aqua hair. I stood up to follow them but Setsuna came over to me,

"They need to talk Seiya." So I left them. I was shocked when a little while alter I saw Haruka running from the room and outside, and a few minutes after that Michiru emerged from the bathroom, looking around for her clearly, even though she pretended she wasn't. She looked me in the eyes and told me she loved me, and I nearly died inside, so this was the pain she felt when I said it to her and she realised I didn't love her as much as someone else? Man, it feels like shit to feel like this. After a little while, Michiru went outside to get some air, she went outside, I knew to talk to Haruka and I felt a little pain in my heart. It was unfair. She was mine now. I had her first. Haruka had her chance and she blew it. Michiru was as close to happy as I could be. And I couldn't let that be taken away from me too. I had to fight for what was mine. Usagi was Mamoru's and I couldn't have Usagi... so I had to fight for the closest thing to happiness I had… Haruka was a coward and that wasn't my problem, I had the guts to ask Michiru. I decided then, that I had to fight for what was mine. I had to make Michiru mine.

When I decided to go to the door, I looked out and saw that it was raining, I hadn't even noticed, and Michiru and Haruka didn't seem bothered by the weather, Haruka began to run away, I gotta admit I was confused as fuck, but Setsuna saw her running and looked at Michiru and told her to get a cab to theirs as Haruka needed her and would probably get a cold in this weather.

Haruka did get a cold and to be honest, it kinda fucked up my plans, Michiru was at their apartment, intent on keeping by Haruka's side, she wouldn't even leave the apartment except to get Haruka's medicine, she wouldn't even leave to meet me for one hour for coffee. I got pissed off, and I swear you would never see me happier than when I saw Haruka feeling better, I turned up a few days later and she wasn't at the apartment but Michiru was. I went to Michiru's room and we watched a movie in her room and stayed in silence. It was there that I took the ring out of my pocket and proposed. She looked me in the eye and cried, saying 'no'. Said she couldn't marry me, she was too young and wasn't sure of her feelings. We'd been together for three years and I told her that I loved her. I did, no word of a lie. Maybe not as much as Usagi, or as much as Haruka loved her but regardless Michiru was my last link to happiness, and I wasn't about to let that go… even though she said no, we continued to date, Michiru and I.

At Haruka's farewell dinner at the Kaioh's, I was shocked when she arrived, looking better than me, what was the world coming to when a woman looked better than a man in men's clothing?! But regardless, I let her know Michiru was mine.

The dinner was awkward, I know that Hiroshi and Megumi like me but they just think that Michiru should be with someone else. I'll give you one guess who their 'golden boy' is… surprise huh? Michiru ran off at dinner when we were talking to Haruka about her career. I went to run after her but Hiroshi forbade me. I wanted to say fuck it, let me go to her, but they sent Haruka… they must have known how they felt about each other and this must have been Michiru's parents way of a last attempt at getting them together. I wasn't happy about it but when I saw Haruka storm from the house, ignoring everyone and leave, I couldn't help but smile, especially when Michiru tried to run after her crying, I knew… that Michiru would come back to me.

A few weeks after Haruka left, Michiru and I were at dinner together when she looked me in the eyes and said 'yes.' After stammering, she told me that she would marry me. That that was all she wanted right now. I could not have been happier. She was going to be my wife, and then she would be mine for the entire world to know.

And when little Hotaru was born I was so happy, she looked like me, black hair, but she had these amazing purple eyes, and I adored her, even though she didn't really seem to take a liking to me, but she was my flesh and blood and that was all that mattered.

I told Michiru I wanted Usagi to be her godmother and she said that was fine. She wanted Haruka to be her choice… but then Haruka didn't come back. Not after her first year… not again for a long while. Michiru became cold and distant to everyone except Setsuna and Hotaru, but she still made her will so that in the event of her death or ours, Haruka would be Hotaru's parent. Michiru became a bit of a bitch… Even to me, it was all smiles and kisses for our concerts and recordings but behind closed doors, I could tell she didn't want me around. Even my own daughter called me Seiya, not daddy, she never wanted to play toys with me, only her mama, and she didn't like me. My own child did not like me. I didn't really know why except one day, I saw Michiru playing with Hotaru… they were playing with toy race cars… one of them was a 'Haruka Tenoh McLaren'… and I remember how I felt that day, my child loved to watch racing with her mother and I would rather stick pins in my eyes then see the arrogant face of Haruka Tenoh win another race.

The one day I turned on the TV for Hotaru to watch racing, Michiru was stunned as we looked at the screen and saw her… Haruka Tenoh talking to TV Tokyo… about her return to the Japan Grand Prix and her return to her homeland... her dedication to the woman she loves every time she wins a race. Michiru was standing next to me, and I saw her face, she smiled and then she looked away from me, but it was too late, I saw it. Her face told me everything. But then a reporter brought up Mitsuko. It was my turn to grin… but not for long.

If Haruka was coming back, then she would find a way to see her. Somehow, they all would; Hiroshi, Megumi, Setsuna, everyone and if Michiru saw her and they had a chance to speak, it would all crumble down, everything would be taken away from me. My happiness, that I had worked so hard to achieve and maintain, and Haruka could just come along and take it. No fucking way. That blonde had to learn life wasn't fair, sometimes in this world; you cannot have what you desire. It can belong to someone else and you just have to put up with it – that's the way life is. That's the way it was for me, and that's the way it is for everyone really.

She came back, and at first Michiru ignored her return, but then at the dinner, we met Mitsuko and I nearly danced inside! She had this utterly gorgeous model for a girlfriend who was all over her, and I swear I had the world's biggest shit-eating grin… but then I saw it. In that instant, that one glance to Michiru when she wasn't looking. Haruka was still in love with her. Fuck. I could not have this. I found myself surrounded by Mitsuko and Noriko and when I looked Michiru was nowhere to be found… neither was Haruka. I searched the rooms upstairs, and after a few desperate moments, I decided to check out the back. Nothing. I looked out the front window and saw them. Kissing. I could feel the rage within me rising. Michiru was married to me and that didn't seem to matter, not to either of them. The bitches! I went to the door but was stopped by Setsuna, who tried to talk to me but I told her I wasn't in the mood, I opened the door and found the blond standing there, shock written all over her face… I decided to add my fist to that annoying arrogant face.

Michiru scolded me at the hospital while Haruka was being treated by Ami. She told me what an idiot I was. I'm not an idiot, I saw them kissing. I saw it. And now Hotaru adored her, and even called her Haruka-papa, I was going to shout at the child but Michiru told me it was just a phase. Damn you, Haruka, why did you have to take everything I have away from me. It's all I have… and now, I return home to my wife, after Haruka had been there for dinner, at first I wasn't worried, as Hotaru was there, nothing could have happened while Hotaru was in the room, I'm dead sure neither of them was that corrupt, that they would have an affair with a child in the room. It was only when I was putting Hotaru to bed that she told me that she liked Haruka-papa. That he was strong, handsome and that mama seemed to like him when he kissed her. I managed to fake a smile and put Hotaru to bed who annoyingly told me 'Goodnight, Seiya' when she rested her head on the pillow.

I stood outside our bedroom door, not sure how to approach my wife, to ask if it was true, maybe Hotaru had seen it wrong, maybe there was a good explanation, so I calmly enter our bedroom and saw Michiru sitting at her vanity, brushing her hair. So beautiful, my lovely wife, how could I ever doubt her again? At Usagi's, clearly Haruka had forced Michiru to kiss her… Michiru had her morals, she was a married woman with a child, and she was in the public eye. I walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. I felt her shudder and at first I thought it was in arousal… it was only when I leant down to kiss her cheek, I could tell, I could smell it. The unmistakable aroma of Haruka's cologne. Ultraviolet. Everyone knew Haruka wore it… and it was all over Michiru. I couldn't believe it. Michiru was cheating on me.

I had been so loyal and faithful, and here she was… an adulteress. I could have killed her… not really, but I felt like our trust had been broken. I needed to speak to Haruka about this… soon. Her race was in a week… I would see her then. We would definitely talk. As for my wife… well, I'm not even sure I can look at her right now, even though she is smiling at me… she is smiling but inside she is crying, just like me. Crying to be with the one she truly desires and the one she truly loves.


	8. Setsuna Bares Most If Not All

**A/N : Sorry this chapter is a little short and seems rushed, I didn't edit it as much as I would have liked to. But here it is... a day earlier than promised. I hope you all enjoy it! Take care and don't foget to review!**

* * *

CHAPTER 7 – SETSUNA BARES ALL

It had been seven days since I last saw Michiru… or anyone else except for Nobu, Mitsuko and Noriko. At the track, Nobu had been bothering me every single day about talking to him and telling him what was wrong, and a couple of days ago I gave in and told him about everything that had been bothering me. He wasn't at all shocked when I mentioned Michiru's name… he had met her a couple of times before I first left Japan and he kept making fun of me and my 'lovelorn' eyes that I apparently kept making at her. Nobu has been a bit like a father to me, but we hadn't seen each other in a while, he had some visa problems, he says it was an admin error, I say he's an ex-Yakuza… but whatever, he's here now and he's the perfect excuse to help me escape the drama of the women in my life… or the woman to be more precise. Ugh, she needs to get out of my head. Seriously, I can't take it anymore. Even when I'm driving she's all I can think of. Every bend I take, I see her, every time I brake and accelerate her damned face in my mind. I hate her image. Dammit. I need a freaking break.

Today is the Japan Grand Prix… we have two hours until the preparations for the race begin and four hours until all the spectators are here and the race will officially begin. It's 7am and I'm not sure that I can face today, I've just got this feeling that I'm not going to win… WHOA… What the fuck is going on? I'm Haruka Tenoh, I'm the freaking world champion, I do not have insecurities about racing… I AM racing for Christs' sakes! Goddamit.

As I pull into the pit, Nobu is shaking his amused… what the hell is he laughing at? The old fool!

"Damn, she must really be plaguing you, Haruka." I don't even answer him. I usually do this, when people are right I ignore them… If I pretend they didn't say it, they're not right…. Right? Nobu simply chuckles and does the last minute adjustments to the car.

"We've been here since 5am, Haruka, go take a break… I need to readjust some of these wires, they look a little loose."

"I'm good."

"I said take a break, Haruka." I sigh… he won't let me touch the car now. I turn around to head to my locker but I can see, standing by the entrance to the track… Setsuna. She smiles warmly at me. I jog over to greet my old friend, I open the gate to let her in, and we walk to the stands to take a seat in the cool morning weather.

"Hey, Sets, what brings you here, today?" She looks up at the sky then looks at me,

"I called your hotel room last night… you were out cold asleep… no shock there, Ruka… but Mitsuko told me you'd been off for a week now, acting strange as hell. I didn't know what happened, so I decided to mind my own business, it was only when I called Usagi later to see how she was that she told me Michiru had been at her home every day in tears… for a week. Now, I'm here to find out what happened." Setsuna always had this way of just saying things… no fucking around, if she had something to tell you, she would just tell you. I loved that about her, I wish everyone had that trait,

"I went to hers the day after Usagi's, and we kissed… well, it was more like foreplay… but then Hotaru appeared. And we had dinner… then I found out she lied to me. The day before I left… she didn't accept Seiya's proposal. She said it to test me or some shit like that…" I trailed off and Setsuna simply looked at me. Setsuna has her morals. If I knew Sets, the first thing she would do would be to scold me for accepting any advance from a married woman, saying that I should know better.

"I see… so she told you, huh? At least she finally had the guts, I thought for sure she'd keep it a lie for good. Though I'm shocked, I mean Michiru IS married – "

"Sets, shut up about it already okay, I know, you think I'm a – " She cut me off,

"I was going to say and considering how much you respect marriage and people in commitment. I would never think any less of you for finally telling…or well… showing her how you feel."

Wow. Setsuna could shock me sometimes. I mean she was the first person I told about my feelings for Michiru. We met when I was 15, at my first year of high school… and because of my great grades at school, I did some advanced classes at the university once a week, that's how I met Sets. She was originally my tutor. She was (well, still is) hot as hell and I found it a chore to keep my eyes off her ass… one day she caught me looking and grinned, but then informed me she wasn't into 'guys'… that's when I broke the news to her… Haruka Tenoh is in fact a female. She took it well, and we went on one date, but we both knew instantly we would end up being friends, though I don't think either of us thought we'd be as good friends are we are today. We hung out a lot, and she meet Megumi, Hiroshi and Michiru when she came by to hang out with me… and that's when she was caught on to my feelings for Michiru.

She used to tease me like hell about it. Every time Michiru would talk to me… She would make 'kiss-faces' behind her at me and cause me to blush at Michiru. Once when I sprained my ankle after a race, she signed my support bandage like all my other friends (a superstition we racers have for luck)… but instead of signing her own name she added to Michiru's message… "Haruka, you baka, don't run so hard next time, love Michiru…." And Sets added –koi to her name… I nearly killed Setsuna but I think she totally took advantage of my sprained ankle situation. In fact, when I was having doubts that my feelings were just because Michiru was a beautiful girl and a good friend to me, Setsuna was the one who said that if that was the case then I'd feel the same about her… so we kissed a few times to see if anything was there… not for us, but there was anything for Michiru… and there was, every time we kissed, my heart yearned for a certain aqua-haired beauty instead and her soft pink lips upon my own mouth.

It was during one of these experiments that Michiru walked in… and she seemed pissed off as hell. I guess I should have known how it looked. Setsuna was 4 years older than me… but I never thought she thought any more than disgust for me, her friend. Especially seeing me, kiss another woman so passionately.

Sets was there when I stormed away from my friends after finding out that Michiru and Seiya were dating, after I found out they had kissed… after they slept together, I couldn't bear to be around anyone but Setsuna who I could talk to. Setsuna was there the day I got offered the racing contract… she was there for me every time it mattered. And whether or not she knew it, I was glad she was. She was one of my best and only true friends. My Sets.

But now, the look on her face, the look I'm seeing now? Someone tells me I need to brace myself. Big time.

"It's a shame you never spoke to me again after you left, Haruka… Otherwise you wouldn't have had to have waited this long to know about the day after you left us." Okay, I'll admit she had my interest… damn her and the way she worded things!

"Why? What happened?" She looked a little sad as she turned her head to look up at the sky,

"Michiru came to my apartment… pissed off as hell… and at me might I add."

_A freshly woken up Setsuna slowly wanders to her apartment front door, dressed in her pajamas and she wipes the sleep from her eyes as the door is pounded three more times. _

"_I'm coming!" Setsuna makes it to the door, stops and blinks her eyes several times, waking up instantly. The green haired woman opens up her front door and is greeted by a furious aqua-haired woman._

"_Michiru? What are you doing here?" Michiru doesn't answer but instead walks instantly into the apartment, looking around in an irate manner for something… or someone._

"_Come in." Setsuna's voice has a slight edge of sarcasm but Michiru doesn't seem to notice, Setsuna continues, "What brings you here Michiru-san?"_

"_Don't!" The green haired woman looks at Michiru in utter bewilderment._

"_What are you talking about?" Setsuna finally closes her apartment door and alks into the living room where Michiru is standing, still looking around her._

"_Where is she Meioh-san? She wasn't at the airport this morning… where is she?" Setsuna stood still. At first the green haired woman remained unresponsive, but after seeing the tears form in the younger girls eyes, she sighed and moved over to her window, staring out at the sky,_

"_Madrid. She took her flight yesterday. Said she couldn't stand to face everyone today." Michiru faced Setsuna and rage took over her voice,_

"_You knew she left already and didn't tell us?"_

"_Haruka told me not to tell anyone. I promised her and I wasn't going to break that promise before she left." Michiru merely scoffed at Setsuna,_

"_Sure, you had nothing to do with her promise… ever since she met you she has not been acting herself." Setsuna shrugged,_

"_I'm afraid that's not my fault." Once again Michiru scoffed, forcing Setsuna to look Michiru in the eyes, her blue tear-filled eyes,_

"_No…of course, it's not," sarcasm was clear in the younger woman's voice, "But you're the reason, the reason she acts so weird so not only is it your problem but it is most definitely your fault!" The green haired woman clearly took offence,_

"_And what are you saying, Michiru-san?"_

"_You! Out of all her friends… out of all her girlfriends, you have affected her the most!" Setsuna's eyes bulged at Michiru's exclamation,_

"_G-g-girlfriend? Oh Michiru… you've got it all wrong! Me and Haruka went on a few dates but we were never lovers! Even when we dated, we were only ever really friends… no more!" Michiru threw her hands up in desperation,_

"_I caught you two kissing!"_

"_Once! You caught us once! I was helping Haruka figure something out!" Michiru laughed at the statement,_

"_Oh, yeah? How could I be so blind!" Michiru was clearly showing her skill at conveying sarcasm, "You're lying, Setsuna!" Setsuna shook her head, for once her temper was getting the better of her and she shouted, as loud as she could muster,_

"_No, you idiot! I was helping her realise she was in love with you!" Michiru's mouth fell to the floor and she stumbled backwards, until she saw the couch and she sat on it, her hand covering her mouth and she sat in a state of disbelief, Setsuna also covered her mouth, not believing she let Haruka's secret, maybe not such a well-kept one in general but Haruka's nonetheless, slip,_

"_So… it is true?" Setsuna looked at the young girl, a little confused,_

"_What do you mean, Michiru?" Michiru laughed a little bitterly,_

"_Minako told me last year that Haruka had a crush on me, Seiya told me that too… even my own mother thought Haruka was a little too attached to me… and at my parents, I thought she did and I tried to get it out of her… but I wasn't sure… Haruka is in love with me… she definitely is, isn't she?" Setsuna nodded slwoyl and she sat next to Michiru on sofa. Michiru broke into tears,_

"_What have I done? Oh God." Setsuna looked at Michiru with questioning eyes but the aqua-haired girl continued talking, "I told her I accepted Seiya's marriage proposal, just to see if it would push her… and it did, it pushed her away, not into admitting her feelings for me!" Michiru was outright sobbing and crying and she continued to speak even through her heart-wreching sobs, "She thinks I'm getting married to Seiya!" Setsuna waited for her to stop talking before she spoke calmly to her,_

"_Michiru… do you love Haruka?" Michiru stopped crying and looked wide-eyed into Setsuna's eyes,_

"_I… do…" Setsuna put her finger on Michiru's lip and she spoke, _

"_How long have you known that you were in love with her Michiru?" Michiru shook her head, at first seeming unable to answer, and Setsuna sighed… maybe she didn't really love her, then Michiru spoke, barely above a whisper,_

"_The day I caught you two kissing." Setsuna laughed… how ironic… she realised she loved her the same day Haruka was convinced her feelings were more than lust of teenage confusion. "I'm such an idiot, Setsuna." The green haired woman smiled gently,_

"_Yes, you are, but what are you going to do about all of this, Michiru?" Michiru sighs and shrugs her shoulders,_

"_She comes back in at the end of the year… I'll talk to her then. That should work, right?"_

"Well, she didn't wait for me, so there." I may have sounded like a petulant ass, but did I care? Not a bit. I looked over at Setsuna in time to see her raise an eyebrow,

"In all fairness, Haruka, you didn't come back." I was about to argue with her when she carried on, clearly ignoring me, "She really found it hard without you, Haruka, she drowned her sorrows into Seiya, and he was more than happy to have her, Ruka. She got married after she had Hotaru, and when you didn't come back, the closest she got to you were your TV interviews on Setanta. But I know that you weren't injured and it wasn't all coincidence, you were doing what you always do best… running away, Haruka Tenoh." A throat was cleared in front of them, and the two women were shook out their daze by Nobu, who had clearly been standing there for a while, hearing every word,

"That's not fair Setsuna-san… Haruka didn't know any of that because Michiru lied… she was the coward, it seems to me that she ran away from her feelings, not Haruka… Haruka just accepted what she was faced with and tried to move on." I can't stand this, all this arguing and bickering, it is utterly pointless, I stand up and let the gentle breeze waltz playfully over my face and hair,

"It doesn't matter Sets, it's far too late… I don't even see the point in you telling me any of this." Setsuna stood, shaking her head at me,

"I was there, you weren't Haruka… every time she cried…" Michiru cried? In all the years I had known her, she had NEVER cried. Not once! The Michiru I knew thought crying was a sign of weakness and Michiru was not weak… well, in her eyes anyway, Setsuna locked her eyes with me and continued speaking, "She cried when you didn't return after your rookie year… she cried in my arms when she realised she had messed up… when she found out she was pregnant and that she'd have to tell everyone, and have to provide for her child by marrying Seiya… the first time she cried when she saw a picture of you and Mitsuko in the tabloids and she read about your new unbreakable love with her… I was there, holding her the day she gave up. The day she lost hope. When she thought she had lost you and there was no other option but to accept that she would never see you again… but still she watched every one of your races, named you the godparent of Hotaru… she may have said she gave up, but I know she didn't… you don't give up on the person you are in love with, Haruka. You're both so stupid. She's in love with you and you are still in love with her, regardless what you say… for Gods sake, do us all a favour and at least hear her out, Haruka."

Dumbfounded. That's how I feel. There was so much to take in, so much to process and regardless the words and sentences forming in my mind, only silence escaped my mouth. I hadn't even noticed that Setsuna had walked and lead me back to the main garage and pits by the track with Nobu tailing behind. I looked up at Sets and I knew. Sets would never fuck me around, not with the truth, and I knew just by looking at her, not even having to look into her eyes, her entire facial expression told me… she was telling the truth. Then it hit me… It had been five years. Five fucking years. Five long years that I had avoided seeing the once person I thought just fucked around with my feelings and would only jump at the chance to do it again… I was so fucking wrong. What I had done, was walk away from the woman I was in love with… and she was in love with me. Five lonely years. Five years that could have been spent with Michiru in my arms, her lips against mine, our bodies together, our love finally formed. I had undoubtedly been a fool. Setsuna was right, I had to talk to her, to hear her out.

"You're right Sets… I am still in love with her… and I should hear her out.. but it's been a week since I last saw, will she even want to talk to me?" Nobu chuckled and Setsuna and I glared at him, he gulped and nervously spoke,

"Well, if she's waited five years to see you, I don't think another week will kill her." I roll my eyes, Nobu is a great guy but sometimes he can be a complete douche.

"She's coming to the Grand Prix today. Mitsuko got a hold of me and got me to invite everyone. You can talk to her then." I grin, maybe it's not too late, maybe I can find out once and for all, the absolute no-bullshit truth, and straight from Michiru's own mouth.

"Oh crap, Seiya will probably come… Hotaru is too… I'm sorry, Haruka, I didn't think this through… they'll be here soon and you know he won't let you speak to her – " Before Setsuna could finish and before I could process a single word she said an ear-drum shattering, scream could be heard from our position at the track, coming straight from the entrance gates which were being opened for a group of four. I turned around and squinted as I saw the cause of the noise,

"HARUKA-PAPA!" Hotaru leaped into my arms and grinned, near breathless as she had run at top speed after spotting me from the gate.

"Hotaru-chan? What are you doing here, hime?" I look up and see Mitsuko and Noriko walking with Michiru towards me. Holy chit… those two left with Michiru… why did I not rate my day today? I turned to Setsuna for support I could only see a grin plastered across her face. She had opened my eyes a little more today in that way that only Setsuna can… with cold, heard facts and love and sincerity in her actions and voice. I had to prepare myself for whatever would happen. And regardless of the consequences of today, I had to remind myself to thank Setsuna at the end of the day.


	9. I Love Her

**A/N - Um yeah, update again! This is divided up into several dirrent P.O.V's and narratives (if you're smart you should be able to figure out who is who etc...) because I felt it made the story flow a bit better... I hope you all enjoy this quick update.**

* * *

CHAPTER 8 - LOVE ETERNAL

It took me a while to realise that I was still holding Hotaru in my arms, My eyes wandered away from the aqua-haired goddess and slowly back to the adorable child in my arms,

"Hotaru-chan? Why are you here?" I realised after the words left my voice, how utterly stupid I sounded… hmm why was my godchild here, at the race tracks on the day of the Japanese Grand Prix, when her godparent is Japan's number one racer?... I'm such an idiot… and apparently I wasn't the only one who thought that,

"She wanted to see you race, baka." Noriko shook her head at me and her voice at the moment is a welcome break from everything. I needed a little bit of hostility to match my mood. I look up to talk to her, but find she is not alone in standing close to me. Mitsuko is with her... as usual… and finally my brain registered that Michiru was also standing there.

"What are you doing here?" After I spoke, I realised I sounded more angry than shocked… but that didn't matter. Michiru smiled at me but didn't answer, Mitsuko grinned at me and playfully jumped over to me,

"It's the Grand Prix, Haruka, and I promised Hotaru she could come watch you… but Hotaru couldn't come without Michi and then… wait, no, that's it." She can be a bit of an airhead sometimes that Mitsuko.

"I can't stay long, I have to do last minute adjustments to the car." I turn to Nobu at the car and he shakes his head,

"Haruka, I told you not to touch the inside of this car. No... now go away, I'll call for you when I'm ready."

Nobu. I will kill him one of these days. After I win the championship again of course. I still need a great mechanic to help me win.

"Good luck today, Haruka-papa! I can't wait to see you win!" Ah, hime-chan, so innocent. Such a wonderful thing, to be so innocent and naïve… wait… she can't wait? I glanced down at my watch, there was still two hours before anyone else would arrive and the race would start… why were they here so early? I was about to ask when I saw that Hotaru's eyes were fixated on the safe area in the pits, It has dozens of haystacks and a few rubber tyres, for demonstrations and for the more immature a place to relax and play with their kids. Hotaru's eyes light up at the fun looking area, I smile gently and automatically pick up my godchild in my arms,

"Hey, Hime-chan… want to go play over there?" Hotaru threw her head around so fast, I thought she was about to break her neck but instead she grinned and started squirming in my arms, I look up and see Noriko shaking her head at me,

"You're just an overgrown kid, Haruka." I pull Noriko by the wrist as Hotaru leads the way to the hay,

"Hai, and you are an old woman, Noriko… relax! You're only a few year older than me!" I can feel Noriko relax as we reach the hay. Between us both, we play 'war' with the loose strands of hay, the point of the game being to cover your opponents in as much as hay as you can… you can never tell the winner but Hotaru thought she was the winner regardless of how you could have mistaken her for the scarecrow from the Wizard Of Oz. As I stand up, I grin,

"As usual, Haruka Tenoh is the winner!" Hotaru shakes her head playfully and grabs a handful of hay but then starts laughing uncontrollably, I was about to ask what was so funny but then the voice of Noriko behind me brought everything to light, turning around she was standing on the firm hay just above me, holding a ridiculously large amount of hay in her arms,

"You loser, Tenoh!" I can do nothing as she dumps the entire lot of hay on my head and causing Hotaru to nearly die from laughing so hard. I only grin and pull both Hotaru and Noriko into the hay, covering us all equally.

* * *

Haruka was the woman of my dreams, and now there she was, covered in hay, being beaten at her own game by a five year old and Noriko. It took a moment for me to realise that I was smiling broadly at the scene and even laughing when Noriko practically dumped a ton of hay onto Haruka's head. Mitsuko was grinning to my right and I saw Setsuna standing to my left, all three of us unable to control our smiles and the 'kids' playing in the hay. Just when I thought Haruka had already won over my child, she lifted Hotaru onto her shoulders, claiming her to be the princess of Earth… and that the sky's the limit for a princess, always aiming upwards. I have never seen Hotaru smile so much with someone other than myself. Seiya can barely get her to look at him or call her daddy. Poor Seiya, but here was Haruka, just being Haruka and completely winning Hotaru over, without even meaning to or trying to. It just happened. Just like the way she won me over. She just did. I sigh and Setsuna looks up at me, 

"Everything okay, Michiru?"

"Hai… it's just that… Seiya can never get Hotaru to laugh or be so happy." Setsuna grins at me and look at Haruka,

"I never thought Haruka would be so great with kids… I suppose it's easy to when you're still a kid yourself. Huh? But she does seem to have a gift with her." I nod absentmindedly as does Mitsuko, we both seem to be thinking deeply about another,

"Noriko always surprises me." At that moment, Noriko is lifting Hotaru into the air, while Haruka is using three haystacks as a temporary sofa and Noriko throws and catches Hotaru again, causing the little to giggle and laugh, I can't help but grin at thinking of Haruka with a kid… not just any child, but mine… my Hotaru and my Haruka,

"She'd make an excellent parent." Setsuna spoke, I wasn't sure who she was speaking to or who she was referring to… me? Mitsuko? Haruka? Noriko? I looked over at Mitsuko who clearly hadn't heard and followed her gaze, she was staring lovingly at… Noriko? What the hell? Not Ruka? Did Ruka know?! How do I go about this now? Calmly? Or attack her, looking some crazed woman in love with Haruka? Mitsuko glanced over to me, perplexed at my clearly confused facial expression,

"What's wrong, Michiru-san?"

"Weren't you shocked when you found out that Haruka wasn't a man?" Mitsuko smiled gently at me, and she nodded gently,

"Yeah, it was a shock, but then it worked out fine for all of us… I mean, um, it just worked out fine for us… Us." She shook her head at her slip… I had to figure out what she was covering up, I mean it was kind of obvious… Noriko… wait, did Haruka know about them?... Only one way to find out, I guess. Take a deep breath, I tell myself and just ask it, so I do,

"Mitsuko-san, does Haruka know you're in love with Noriko-san?" I expected her to defend herself, Noriko, all the classic signs of denial… I should know them, I've been through them enough, but she smiled again… then nodded, making eye contact with me,

"Hai, she knows. It was her idea for us to pose as a couple the way we did for our careers." Oh, thank God, she did know about -… wait a minute,

"Pose, what do you mean?" Mitsuko smiled at me, and then moved her gaze to her Noriko, she spoke softly to me,

"Now, Michiru-san, you didn't honestly think that Haruka would be intimate with someone who wasn't you, did you?" My mouth must have hit the floor as she said that. I couldn't help but grin after a moment,

"So, she posed all that time and you were never – " She cut me off,

"Never… like Haruka my heart belongs to someone who I could not bear to be without in this world."

I nearly forgot we were not alone until I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Setsuna, she was looking at me and she was smiling,

"Haruka has gone to change into a hay-free suit, " I turned to the play area and sure enough it was just Hotaru and Noriko in the hay now, "Go and talk to her, Michiru… before you lose your confidence to do so. The lockers are over there." I immediately jog over to the area that Setsuna has pointed out to me. I knock on the door, there's no reply so I knock again,

"Who is it?" That husky voice speaks, and it causes me to get flustered,

"It's me, Ruka." She stopped moving and then the door opened before us, revealing Haruka, in her new race suit, the jaket undone and her fitted t-shirt underneath showing me her female yet masculine curves, which were mentally driving me mad, I managed to raise my face to look at her, she hadn't changed, still the same handsome Haruka,

"Can we talk?"

"Go on." I saw that she didn't move and I sighed,

"In private, please?" She contemplated for a moment, rolled her eyes then stepped aside, allowing me into her private locker room. It was massive, there was a hot tub, a locker with all her clothing, all the freebies lined at one end of the room, and in the middle a bed, clearly for her to fall asleep when exhausted, sleeping in always did relax Ruka. I looked around and saw there was nowhere else comfortable to sit. Haruka leaned against the lockers, a scowl etched across her features but she still looked so cute, I placed myself onto the bed, my feet dangling over the edge.

* * *

"Well?" The blonde's voice was cold but it didn't seem to affect the younger woman, who simply looked up, her eyes pleading with Haruka, 

"You're the one with someone to say here, Michiru…right?" The younger oman nodded then she spoke softly, looking up into the magnificent green eyes of the blonde woman,

"Okay, but please let me speak, and don't say or do anything until I'm finished… I need to just say everything. Okay?" The blonde simply nodded, crossing her arms, preparing herself for anything the younger woman would say.

"I've known you all my life, Ruka, before you came to live with us, we were best friends, and when you lived with us, we became closer than I thought we would be. You were my idol in many ways. People adored you, everyone at school loved you, they all thought I was a snob, but with you around I never had to hear people's thoughts about me, because you were always there to protect me… you helped me out of my shell and people got to see the real me. You gave me confidence, not just at school, but at home, with my music… before every single concert you were there, always there for me… I loved you dearly, I hide your gender, not because you asked me to but because I wanted you to be comfortable, to know you could trust me always… Hell, we became so close, even our friends at school thought we were lovers… and I know we played the rumours off, but in all honesty, they didn't bother me, I even wished some were true… and when people finally realised we weren't an item, you became distant to me, and that hurt, Ruka… and Seiya knew I was lonely and we began to date, and even though we lived together, it was like I never saw you. Not really, you began to avoid me. And I hated the way you treated me. I hated that you never spoke to me openly anymore… I hated that you and Setsuna were always together… and I hated you the day I saw you and Setsuna kissing in your room. Seiya told me he was glad… he thought you were in love with me… and so did I. Even when we moved in together, I rarely saw you and I hated that more! Seiya gave me affection when I thought I would get none from you… so that's why we continued to date, that's why I slept with him, even before we did, I spoke to you, hoping you might show a shred of love and convince to not do it but you said nothing. And silence can be a killer, Haruka. I didn't hate being with Seiya, but I as dead sure I didn't enjoy it as much as I should have… if I was with someone else… someone who I truly loved… then I would have never wanted to be free from their release… but I didn't have that at the time, he was as close to happy as I could be. … then there was Usagi's and I thought for sure when you kissed me that would fix everything, that everything would suddenly make sense and there'd be a happy ending, but you ran away from me, you avoided me… He proposed to me, I rejected him, I couldn't be married to him… not until I knew how you truly felt, but you left at my parents when all I wanted was for you to hold me, kiss me and tell me you loved me as much as I loved you and that would have been it I would have been yours, but you ran Haruka!… and I gave in, I just needed someone's closeness and if it was Seiya's then so be it… so I married him. He is a good provider, and he cares deeply for me and Hotaru but it doesn't matter, I can't help who I love and I am in love with you, Haruka Tenoh… Every moment that your lips aren't on mine, is a moment I'd rather not live. I don't know why but I don't care why, all I know is I can never love anyone as much as I have loved you in my lifetime. I will love you until the day I die, Haruka… I just had to let you know that."

The aqua haired woman slumped in her chair, exhausted from her confession tot eh blonde. The blonde, who stood against the lockers, with a completely shocked expression taking over her face.

"D-did you mean all of what you just said Michiru?" The younger woman, unable to speak, nods, while tears stream down her face. The blonde instinctively runs to Michiru and wipes her tears away. She cups her face and tilts Michiru's head up to face her. She smiles gently, and presses her lips against Michiru's.

At first Michiru was shocked and pulled back, but as soon as she saw the hurt look on Haruka's face, she dived back into the kiss, opening her mouth and allowing Haruka access, which the tomboy took advantage of and gently slid her tongue into the young woman's mouth. Michiru moaned out,

"Haruka…please." The blond grinned, she knew now, that everything was clear, she could make love to Michiru right now, Michiru did love her.

Haruka pushed Michiru gently back onto the bed, and began to kiss her more passionately, her tongue playing with Michiru's causing both woman to moan in a high state of arousal. Haruka moves her mouth to her lover's neck and gently kisses Michiru's neck, but then bites at her tender skin, causing the young woman to gasp in surprise but then to grin at the pleasure. Haruka expertly moves her hands over Michiru's blouse and removes it, and this time finds that she is wearing a bra. Michiru helps Haruka remove the pesky item of clothing and Haruka lets her tongue explore Michiru's breasts, causing Michiru to groan louder, but then the younger woman grabbed the blonde' head and purred into her ear,

"Oh, Haruka… please, stop fooling around and make love to me!" Haruka grinned and tore her own clothing off before settling on top of Michiru and kissing her again, her hand travelling down to Michiru' thigh and teased the violinist as she moans. Michiru pouts and Haruka looks her deep into the eyes, neither say a thing as Haruka pushes a finger into Michiru. The young woman gasps and digs her nails into Haruka's shoulder,

"Keep going, Ruka, please don't stop." Haruka holds herself closer to Michiru and pushes in and out of Michiru causing the young woman to groan and she begins saying Haruka's name in between shallow breaths of ecstasy. Haruka quickly lowers herself down just at Michiru's centre and begins to gently lick the tip of her lover, causing Michiru to buck her hips at the sensation and she pushes Haruka's head deeper into her. The blonde willingly took the invite and began to lick her lover faster and harder, after a few more moments of this, the blond pushed her thumb onto her lover's tip in between licking her, Michiru's entire body stiffened and she groaned loudly and she finally came, and Haruka enjoyed the sensation of her lover in her mouth and her climax being so intense. Slowly Haruka dragged herself away from her lover's centre and back to Michiru where she kissed her, letting Michiru taste herself and the younger woman grinned. The two laid there in each other's arms, unaware of time, not caring about anything apart from the woman in front of them... they both kissed gently. Then pulled away looking at each other in the eyes, before the blonde moved her elbow to prop herself up and balance herself on while laying in the bed, the aqua-haired beauty laying on her side, burying her face into her lover's front.

"I love you, Michi." The aqua-haired beauty grinned,

"I love you too, Haruka."

* * *

I propped myself up on my elbow and looked down at my lover. 8 years of longing… 5 years of not seeing her pained me… but this moment of utter bliss that I'm feeling after making love to the only woman I have ever been in love with -... It cannot be contended with. I had to let her know, 

"I love you, Michi."

"I love you too, Haruka." She said it. She finally said it. And she meant it. She loved me. There was no denying it, we loved each other. She was grinning at me now, and it kinda confused me… what was she smiling about? Well, apart from the obvious if I do say so myself… it was only then that I noticed where her other hand was placed. Just at the top of my inner thigh, and I gasped as I felt her hand move… in all my concentration on Michiru, I seemed to have not noticed how aroused I was… but she seemed to notice and grinned as she gently rubbed me, causing me to shudder,

"Oh, Michi…" She smiled and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. She pushed me playfully back onto the bed and she straddled me. She kissed my neck and her hands travelled over my chest and then she moved back down… and I could feel her hot breath just over me, teasing me every sensation. My skin tingled, my muscles tightened, I wanted to scream at her to just make love to me, and then I felt her tongue enter me gently and I moaned loudly, and she was about to do send me into reels of pleasure… when there was a knock at the fucking door.

"Oh you have got to be fucking with me!" I shouted out in disbelief as Michiru stopped at looked at the door with me, there was a chuckling from the other side… Nobu. You asshole. I am going to kill him.

"No, Haruka… I'm not the one fucking with you," Michiru blushed deeply and tried to hide her face into my chest, "But the other racers are arriving now, and so are some of the spectators." What? But we had ages until they were meant to be here… I glanced down at my watch. Oh no... Holy shit. They say time flies when you're having fun… It was 11am… and people WERE supposed to be arriving… okay, I won't kill Nobu, but still… fuck!

"Okay, okay, I'm coming… Don't you dare joke!" Nobu laughed as he walked away from my door… and I hung my head in my hands, Michiru lifted my chin and I looked at her,

"Don't be so sad, Ruka… I promise… will finish this, okay? Plus… how can I resist you now I've tasted you?" I could feel my face reddening… I kissed her gently on the forehead. She began to collect her clothes and got dressed.

"Good luck, Haruka… I know you'll win." And with that she left. I moved to the shower, I had to be ready and refreshed for today's race… I couldn't afford to lose, especially not with Michiru watching. I couldn't believe it. I had made love to Michiru Kaioh… and she wanted to make love to me… all I had to do was wait… and she would be mine… oh fuck… how could I forget?! The one little obstacle in my way… She could never be mine… not while he was around. Damn you, Seiya.

* * *

**A/N 2 - I'm not very good at writing lemon scenes... but there you go... you all wanted them to get together... now there's only one thing left to do... come clean! MWAHAHAHA R&R please!**


	10. If Only I Had Someone To Console Me

**A/N - Well, here it is folks, the final chapter. I combined two short chapters in this and about a thousand POV's... so read carefully. This has taken me ages to write so I hope you all enjoy this labour of love!

* * *

**

I came out of my locker room and was greeted by Nobu who decided to raise one eyebrow but stay utterly quiet, even though I could tell he was aching to say something,

"Don't you dare old man... you do, and I'll run you over!" He held his hands up in a surrendering gesture,

"Now, now Tenoh-san, if you run me over, who will be there to test the car?" I smirk,

"Running you over could test the brakes."

"Hey! That hurts... look you got five minutes until your warm up laps... you need to win this to win the championship, Haruka... are you ready?" I nodded. I began to look out at the track, at the crowds, now in their thousands, the sound of them all talking in anticipation and cheering every time they get a glimpse of their favourite driver and for most that's me... I can't help but look towards the VIP area, I know that she's there... and apparently so is everyone else, I can see the outline of several people in her box... knowing my luck, Mitsuko and Setsuna between them ensured everyone was here. I sighed. Today was going to be difficult. One of my on-the-track rivals, Marcos Michaels, a French driver was doing exceptionally well this season and there were rumours he was going to retire after this season... I bet a championship win just before he retires would be nice for him... as much as I like the guy, I can't let him beat me... not today, now here... not i front of Michiru... not in front of everyone I hold close. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes, taking in everything, the wind gently blowing against my face and dancing across the track, causing everyone but me distress. I smile at my luck... my closest ally was on my side... content that the wind would go in my favour today, I headed to my car where Nobu and the rest of the team are waiting for me eagerly. Nobu hands me my helmet and I place it over my skull, feeling the same feeling as always...safety and suffocation... I always found it amusing how something can make you feel so safe and vulnerable at the same time... it reminds me of Michiru every time I race. God, she's back in my mind. Wait... is that a good thing now? The woman who I pined after for nearly a decade had declared her love to me and allowed me to touch her intimately and gently and make love to her... oh yes, Michiru in my mind was definitely a good thing... I even surprised her when my subconscious threw her image in my face and she was dressed. I grinned like a small child... I knew I wasn't a pervert or just lusting! My love is true and pure... well, for now, I'm not sure how true and pure it's gonna be if she finishes off what she promised earlier. Heh.

Okay, now I can't stop thinking about Michiru and I have about thirty seconds until my race starts. I'm in third pole position and my hands are shaking and my body is trembling...what the hell? Am I scared? Nah, that can't be it... it...it's anticipation... it's my first race in Japan... I'm just antici – oh who am I kidding, I'm shit scared.

Here it goes, not turning back now I guess... The lights are up, red... breathe in, breathe out, my grip is scarily tight. I look up in time to see the green lights and the engines rev all around me, mine no exception. The McLaren roars like a monster released from captivity, I can't help but grin, I easily slide into first, but soon find myself followed by Takashi... this is not going to be an easy win... no, Tenoh, it won't, but it's going to be a win nonetheless.

* * *

The VIP box is much grander than any I've seen at my concerts... but in this world it's no surprise that sportsmen get much better perks to their jobs than patron of the arts such as myself. Hotaru seems to like this place. She's wiggling around in my arms uncontrollably, I finally release her and she runs from one en of the windowed box to the other desperately trying to see every bit of action of her 'Haruka-papa'... Hotaru is the cutest child. 

I can't help but to start thinking of what I have to face...living a lie and not coming clean about my affair with Haruka... even is Mitsuko, Noriko, Nobu and Setsuna know... do the others? Does Seiya? My God, it would kill him to find out I slept with Haruka... well, there as no sleeping but could I really be so cold and callous? ... I knew in my heart I could be, I mean, I was for all those years to Haruka about her crush on me... I knew and I teased her; sitting on her lap, stroking her hair, behaving as lovers would and she didn't say a thing... until the week she left.

No, I couldn't be that way to Seiya... he had been too good to me. To his daughter... Oh God, Hotaru, what was I going to do about my baby girl? Could I really expect him to not put up a fight for his own child? This was not going to be easy, I had to let everyone know, I needed their support, their love, their encouragement... I needed their acceptance. Before I could think about anything further, a voice broke me from my trance, speaking quietly but sweetly into my ear,

"You know, Michi-chan, it has been years but it certainly does being back memories."

"Nani?" My mother could be so elusive sometimes and clearly today was no exception, she grins at me, looking more like a goofy four year old than a forty five year old woman.

"It brings back memories... her first day at school... her first date with Setsuna... no-one I know wears it except for her... Ultraviolet... almost her trademark you could say." Before I could even respond to her, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I could see Seiya, he looked tired, almost lifeless but he smiled gently for me,

"Hey, Michiru." He kissed my cheek and I closed my eyes and forced my smile to him, when I opened my eyes, he still lingered at my cheek but his nostrils were slightly flared, he was clearly taking in m scent. I locked my eyes with him and he looked at me. Disappointment in his eyes... but no anger.

"Seiya, are you okay?" He didn't answer me and instead he moved to the empty couch away from the window where all our friends were eagerly watching the race. He covered his eyes with his hand then laughed gently but bitterly,

"I'm fine, Michiru...just laughing at life." I was caught red-handed, I knew it, but why didn't he say anything? I was about to speak when I heard a collective gasp from the window,

"Haruka-papa!" Hotaru yelled, I ran to the window but as I reached it, everyone let out a collective exhalation.

"What the hell happened?" Makoto looked up at me,

"That was close, Michiru-san, did you not see it?" Before I could respond, the monitor above us showed me the event I had missed. I covered my mouth in horror, it was into the last ten laps and Haruka was second but in a desperate bid to be first tried to overtake at a dangerous S-bend, the other driver, clearly fearing for both their lives, slammed his brakes a litte, causing Haruka to nearly slide out of the track and roll but miraculously her tyres found their way back to the floor. My heartbeat slowly, resumed,

"Haruka you baka!" I obviously screamed loudly, judging by everyon's reactions towards me... just in the nick of time the announcer spoke on the tannoy ,

"Wow, folks did you see that? Tenoh-sama has no fear, not even that pole that he so skilfully avoided on that next S-bend!"

* * *

That cocky blonde... I had to hand it to her, she had a life of drama... who else could claim to be the sporting pride of Japan, the premier idol of most in the world, men wanted to be her, women wanted her...Michiru included. I watched as Michiru gave more concern for Haruka than she ever had for me in all the years I had know her. I shook my head, it's sad that this has to happen, but I have to do what I feel is right. People can't sneak around doing this... they have to do the right thing. I do too. Michiru glances at me, and I keep my composure. She looks at me. She knows I know but she's not saying anything... she knows I could smell Haruka's scent all over her, and Michiru had her own indescribable scent, the one I knew so well, that told me she had just finished making love. They were making love to each other without worry... and it showed, she didn't give a flying fuck. I sigh audibly and Michiru makes her way over to me, she touches me cheek lightly, 

"Seiya, what's wrong?" I shake my head, I don't want her to know... then I she wouldn't let me go near Haruka... I smile gently,

"Nothing, I'm just thinking..." That's not a lie, "You smell nice." She blushes and I see tears form in her eyes,

"Seiya, I – " I hold my hand up,

"This isn't the time or place, Michiru. Go and keep an eye on the race." She didn't argue with me for once and she re-joined our daughter... is she my daughter? I'm not questioning if she's biologically mine but she treats me like a stranger... oh well, before I can say anymore Megumi is beside me,

"Hello, Seiya-san." I nod in a greeting and she looks at me... Fuck me, she knew too?

"How long have you known Megumi-san?" Her smile disappears and a look of empathy greets me now,

"Since they kissed at Usagi's... me and Setsuna became very close after we had our suspicions about Haruka's feelings for Michi."

"Did you know they've been fucking each other?" Megumi frowned at me but then she nodded slowly, "How did you find out?" Megumi whispered to me,

"Michiru reeks of Haruka's cologne... you don't get that drenched in it from a friendly hug and chat." I could feel my jaw clench, it was now or never.

"Please excuse me." I left the room quietly. And not too long after, I found myself leaning against the wall opposite Tenoh's locker room, waiting patiently, I had a little while to wait. But it would all be worth it... I would talk to Tenoh about everything in my mind.

* * *

Holy crap! Where the hell did that pole come from? I have got to start concentrating, I did not just risk my life just to lose it to some pole... okay, I need to clear my mind of all distractions. All of them. I can't think about the thousands of people here, or the hundreds of thousands of people watching this at home, I can't think of my family and friends fearing for me, I can't think of my greedy sponsor, I can't think of Nobu and Michiru is definitely off-limits... Gah, dammit! If she so off-limits, why do I keep re-living the moment she came with me... Ruka, now is not the time to be a pervert, it is the time to win. Tenoh-kun get it together! 

Before I knew it, everything became a blur of colour as my foot found there was no limit on the speed of my car and i handled every corner with caution and ease. I saw the chequered flag rise but next to me was Marcos's car... who the hell won? I had to know... before I could question any further, Nobu screamed in my ear,

"Haruka I am going to marry you! You've made us filthy rich! I love you!"

"Shut up, old man!" I grinned widely, I had won...wait, let me scream it louder, I HAD FUCKING WON! When it mattered, I pulled through... and everyone saw it. Michiru saw it. I had to go to the locker rooms and get changed for the press and the awards ceremony. I pulled into the pit and was greeted with a tight hug from Nobu who decided to do a song and dance about the wealth he would have at the end of the season.

"Nobu let go of me, man! Look, lemme get changed, then let's celebrate properly, okay?!" He grinned at let go of me, I walked past all of my competitors, and headed into my locker, as I was about to open the door, I could feel someone standing behind me. I turned and my eyes bulged when I saw Seiya leaning against the wall behind me,

"We need to talk, Tenoh-kun." Oh fuck... this could not be good.

"Come in, Kou-san." I watched him closely as he followed me into my locker room, before closing the door, I grabbed two chairs from the outside and brought them in. He sat down on one and I on the other, a good ten feet from him.

* * *

I looked around for Seiya but he had already left, how long has he been gone? I walked over to my mother who was talking quietly with Setsuna. She grinned at me, slightly looking nervous, 

"Mother, have you seen Seiya?" She nodded but said nothing, I sighed...

"Can you tell me where he is?" Megumi once again nodded, Setsuna looked at me and could feel my frustration,

"If I'm not mistaken, Michiru-san... he's talking to Tenoh-san as we speak."

What? Did I hear her right?

* * *

Silence has always uneased me. Always. That's why I played the piano, it's why I race, I need to hear things around me. Right now, I hear nothing. I don't even know how long has passed, I glance up to my watch and see that it has only been five minutes. The longest five minutes of my entire damned life. He clears his throat and he almost commands my attention... I guess he should, I did sleep with his wife less than 5 hours ago... and now he was here to undoubtedly kill me for it... well it is Seiya, even if he wanted to he couldn't kill me, but I had to give one free hit. Maybe he didn't know and all this was just a coincidence... yeah, a huge freaking coincidence... I was screwed. I was shaken from my thoughts when Seiya cleared his throat, 

"You know, Tenoh, if we had met under different circumstances, I daresay we may have become friends instead of..." Rivals. He trailed off but I knew what he wanted to say. We locked eyes again, but this time there was no competition, he was searching me through his eyes. His eyes, so empty right now, I knew that look, I had it for five years.

"I know everything, Tenoh." Shit. He did know, there was now no doubt. Still, I have hope,

"What about Kou-san?" When he laughed I was about to blush but I realised it was not a bitter laugh, he was actually amused,

"You're not going to play dumb are you?" I say nothing, he shrug, " I guess you are." He sighs deeply.

"Paco Rabanne... that's your poison isn't it?" I hang my head slightly, I look up, he has no expression, but he's still searching me with his eyes. I feel worse than scum right now, but what can I do? I just want this over... so we can all go back to our lives... hopefully.

"It was all over her... I guess that must have been before you fu-... before you slept with her? Rumours at school were that foreplay was your favourite." He laughs again, reminiscing. The man before me confuses me. For years I was certain he hated me, but now he seemed to want to joke about everything... or was he joking? Finally breaking another silence, he leans forward a little, lifting his head to look at me. His eyes aren't empty anymore, they hold tears... countless tears. He cleared his throat, he was shaking and a few tears escaped his eyes but I don't think he noticed,

"How could you do it, Haruka?" He wasn't angry... he sounded like he genuinely wanted to know from me. I could feel my own voice break a little,

"I am so sorry, Seiya, please – " He stood up, angered clearly, I stood up too ready for what may come.

"No Tenoh! I am not talking about _that_... How could you... How – " He was now shaking, all over, even though his head hung low, I could tell he was crying, deeply,

"How you could you live your life knowing she was enjoying the touches of another? How could you live with yourself seeing her content with someone else?! How could you live with yourself knowing you let the only woman you truly love go to an undeserving man?! HOW COULD YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF?! Please! You have to tell me! Please Tenoh!" Seiya slid to his knees, crying and his hands covered his eyes while he sobbed without restraint in front of me.

I didn't even react. I was too shocked... the cool, calm Seiya I had always known was crying... he was so vulnerable... and I didn't quite get what he was saying... Was he calling himself undeserving? His eyes met mine, and I knew in that instant that Michiru was not the woman who had claimed his heart. One half of me celebrated in my heart, the other wanted to give some comforting, if not, sympathetic words to the man in front of me, the man reduced to a blubbering wreck courtesy of my uncontrollable lust. Way to go... I feel like shit. I kneel a few feet away from him.

"Seiya... who is she?" He shook his head, laughing, utterly bitterly and he stung me to hear someone sound so broken inside,

"I never got over her... Is this how it felt for you, Tenoh?" Oh Gods. It couldn't be... It had been nearly 9 years... Seiya couldn't be in love with the only woman he had interest in before Michi... could he?

"Seiya...is...is it Usagi-chan?" At the sound of her name he cried further, pounding his fists into the floor and then he stopped after a few minutes, I still stayed deadly still, this man was breaking down, I couldn't interrupt. But I had to speak,

"You asked me how I could live with myself... knowing she was in the arms of another, Seiya... the answer is this... I lived hating myself for never having the courage... but when I returned to her... I saw that..." I had to hesitate... I hoped he would understand me... for the sake of the gods, let him! "I saw that she was not content in the arms of another, nor enjoying his touches. Once I saw that, I could live easier. Hell, I could live." I spoke gently, but I waited for his reaction, he pushed himself up and sat on the floor, leaning his back against the lockers, his eyes staring at the ground.

"I do not know that feeling, Haruka," Beofre I can question him, he continues, "The man she is with, she loves deeply and he loves her deeply. And they will always be in love with each other. They will always make each other... complete." Seiya began to cry once again at the last word he uttered,

"I'm sorry Seiya... I don't know what to say. Usagi is –"

"Don't say her name, I don't want your pity! I just want to know why!" Okay, now _this_ is the Seiya I was expecting. The murderous, raging Seiya that clearly wanted to come out and play with me. Or my corpse.

"Why what?!" Hey, if he's going to beat the living crap out of me, I may as well know everything that's on his mind, right?

"Why now?", He grabbed my collar and pushed me to the floor, he sat over me, his fist clenched and raised, "Why did you have to come back? Why did you have to have such an effect on her? On me? I worked so hard for everything I have and you've come and stolen it! My own daughter loves you more than me, her own father! You always got what you wanted in life, Tenoh!"

"Because I have never fallen out of love with Michiru! NEVER!" My own tone surprised me, it must have shocked him too, he raised his hand even higher and I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the punch, after all I did deserve it. This man's state was my fault. Wait – where was this punch? Don't get me wrong I'm not disappointed, but what the hell's going on?! I opened my eyes, and found that Seiya had unclenched his fists and he had hung his head again. He slowly stood up from me and faced away from me, clenching his fists in anger. I stood up too, as I did he faced me and raised his head.

"I hate you so much, Haruka. You win." He looked at me, he was so dejected,

"I won? What are you talking about – " He raised his hand, cutting me off, but I ignored him, I continued,

"You aren't even going to fight for your wife and daughter?" He laughed at me,

"What's the point, they're both so intent on having you... why prolong everyone's pain? I may as well leave now and leave you all to your...lives." I was going to question him on his motives, "I'll do it quietly. Tenoh... There's no point in my staying here... everything I had is gone. And as usual, the prize you aimed for... is yours." And with that he left room, and if I'm not mistaken, he left my life too. After a few minutes, I straightened my clothes and left my locker, as I exited my room, I could see that Nobu, Mitsuko, Noriko, Michiru, Hotaru, Megumi and Hiroshi and gathered outside, I couldn't see Seiya anywhere. Michiru looked shaken,

"Ruka! Are you okay?!" Slowly I nodded,

"Where's Seiya?" She looked at the ground,

"He's gone. He told me he wouldn't be home tonight... he said he's never coming back." I nodded, I understood. He had lost everything. Why should he stay? He had no reason? He reminded me of my own attitude five years ago. When I thought I had nothing. I was shaken from this by Michiru who looked at me,

"What does this mean?" I shrugged at her, what did it mean for us? Could we go on living our lives with no guilty conscience? We would have to... right now, all I wanted to do was capture Michiru's lips with my own. And so I did, with no thought as to who saw us. Hiroshi's eyes widened and he was about to speak to Megumi who simply squealed,

"Yes! I knew they'd get together in the end!" Hiroshi looked at Mitsuko who looked confused but then she put her hand to her mouth and said rather flatly,

"Oh no Haruka, you ahve broken my heart, how could you? Oh no." Noriko laughed,

"Babe, it's such a good thing you're a model and not an actress." Mitsuko grinned at her lover, then fake pouted,

"If Haruka is cheating on me, I shall surely be devastated... If only I had someone who could console me tonight... in my hotel room... all night."

Noriko blushed deeply as she covered Mitsukos' mouth with her hand and Hiroshi nearly fainted,

"Babe? Hotel room?All night?" Megumi nudged him in the stomach and he blushed, apologising under his breath. Hotaru leaped into my arms and I grinned at her, then to Michiru, the woman I loved. She leaned into my ear and purred seductively,

"You know... I believe I have a promise to keep to you, Ruka... from earlier." I blushed as she said this. I have never run faster than to get a press conference over.

Later that night, we mad love from the moment we entered my hotel room until the early hours. We were both exhausted from our passion but we both grinned like mad fools. We were sweating lightly, my body was still tingly from the ecstasy she delivered to me, and she was smiling, her pleasure being fulfilled... and it could only be satisfied by me. She moved her head from my chest, which is apparently her post-coital resting place and she faced me, placing the most gentle and purest kisses I have ever known on my lips,

"I still cannot believe we waited so long to do that."

"I still can't believe how you played me around to get to this... you didn't have to marry someone Michi... flowers would have done." She playfully smacked my arm and she looked at me,

"I don't regret anything if it brought us together, Haruka, you know that right?" I nod at her, I'm not dumb, but she could have gone about all of this much easier... we both experienced so much pain... but in the end, I got what she meant... we had each other. Forget the events of today or tomorrow, I was thinking ten,twenty, no thirty years ahead... together, no-one but me, her and Hotaru...Endless nights of being with each other. Endless nights of being with my Michi. My Michi. And Hime-chan. That's how my life sounded. It sounded so right.

"Aishiteru yo. Ruka." I kiss her gently on the forehead, and shudder at the afterthought of how she says my name. The way she says my name... it sends shivers down my spine. I can't help it it's the way she makes me feel,

"Aishiteru yo, Michi."

* * *

**A/N 2 - phew thank God that's all over... if only I could take a vacation now. Well folks, I hope you enjoyed it. Many thanks, go to;**

**Reusch17, gotToluvAnime, Mantary, RukaMichi92, Lita Delacour, aprileagle for your regular reviews and great feedback, advice and inspiration!**

**To everyone else who reviewed a huge thank you, it really inspired to write (and finish) this. I will be editing this in march (a lot of Michiru's actions will be changed/explained in greater depth) so check back sometime in March when I get my lazy ass around to doing it.**

**Anyhow, take care and pleease review this chapter.**

**Karis aka Vanessa Riverton**


End file.
